Love Somebody
by Coopereid
Summary: Sequel to my fic 'Daylight', based on the song 'Love Somebody' by Maroon 5. After being forced to breakup by the fraternization rules, how did Spencer and Derek handle the split? Can they stay civil toward each other, and more importantly, can they stay apart?
1. Chapter 1

Derek felt Spencer's hand running under his shirt, every single one of his muscles tense up. He felt Spencer's lips against his neck, kissing and sucking at the skin. He felt him lifting his shirt off of his body, to get a better look at what he could call his. Here, we was happy, and could do as he pleased. Here there were no rules and regulations, no ridiculous fraternization codes to keep them apart. Unfortunately, here was only in his dreams. Once he woke up, he sat up in bed, attempting to catch his breath and running a hand over his scalp.

It had been just over three months since the two of them had been forced to separate, and every night – every single night – was spent dreaming about Spencer. After they 'broke up', for lack of a better word, Derek hadn't been able to sleep, eat, or do anything without thinking about him. Because of their past relationship, the two of them were rarely paired up on cases, and were never trusted to room together on a case, even if they had to double up: usually, Spencer would room with Rossi while he took a room with Hotch. At work, they had little to no interaction: on occasion, one would ask the other if there was any coffee in the break room.

Getting back to sleep after having one of these dreams was never easy, and more often than not, he'd lie awake and stare at the ceiling, trying to think about something, anything that didn't remind him of Spencer. However, he'd always be unsuccessful. After all, he'd planned to spend the rest of his life with Spencer, once they'd figured out a way around the anti-fraternization rules, and it wouldn't be easy to forget him. Every night when he'd wake up from these dreams, he'd be tempted to reach over and pick up his phone, dialing Spencer's number just to check on him. Just because they stopped being lovers, it didn't mean they had to stop being friends. However, since they had split, neither one had the courage to call up the other one to talk, for fear of heartbreak when they had to hang up without saying 'I love you'.

Like most nights when he couldn't get back to sleep, tonight he did pick up the phone, but he didn't call Spencer. Instead, he called the one person who had been an emotional sounding board for him throughout this entire ordeal, hoping this wouldn't be the time she'd be bothered by it.

"Cheerio, lovely."

He smiled to himself, leaning against his headboard. "Hey, beautiful. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Of course not, Derek. Usually when it's 1:00 a.m., I'm _just_ hitting my stride."

"I'm sorry, princess. I can call back."

He could practically hear her headshake. "No need, talk to me."

He licked his lips, before running a hand over his face. "I did it again."

She sighed. "Sweetie, this isn't going to be easy. It's not just ripping a band-aid off your skin – it won't hurt a little bit then just go away. It was _love_ – straight up, head-over-heels, sun-rises-and-sets-on-them love. It's going to sting, and it's going to suck, and I wish I had the magic words to take away the hurt for both of you, I do."

"Both of us?" He paused. "…You've talked to him?"

She frowned. "Yeah, my dove. You're not the only one in pain here, and he needs somebody too."

"Is he-"

"I just got off the phone with him," she finished. "He can barely sleep at night. The poor kid has only read five books in the last _month_."

He raised his eyebrows. "_Month_?"

"I told you, he was hurting."

He stayed silent for a minute before taking a deep breath. "Just talk to me."

"Sure thing, what about?"

He shook his head. "Absolutely anything, just please, give me a distraction."

She pursed her lips together, smacking them and thinking to herself. "I um… I tried a new dessert recipe tonight, if you want me to bring it in tomorrow?"

"Sure thing, sweetness. What did you make?" He crossed his arms, leaning back.

"Half brownie, half chocolate chip cookie dough, shaped like little muffins."

"That sounds especially fattening. What's the occasion?"

She laughed softly. "Two of my favorite people on this planet are hurting. Making comfort food makes me feel like I'm helping in some weird, twisted, fattening way."

"Well, I can't speak for him, but I appreciate it."

"I'm sure you do, my little taste tester."

He smirked. "I think you're just trying to make me pudgy so you can have me all to yourself."

She gasped. "You are so onto me, Derek Morgan."

* * *

They had been on the phone for over an hour when she stopped mid-sentence.

"What is it? Something wrong?"

She sighed. "It's him on the other line. I need to go, sweetie, he just, he needs me."

He exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "His nightmares are back, aren't they?"

She frowned. "Unfortunately, and if he doesn't talk about them, it only gets worse. I'm sorry, but-"

"Say no more. Talk to him. It helps if he talks about it, whatever happened in it. I mean, it's not usually best with someone who has nightmares, but it helps him. It also helps if you tell him to get himself a glass of water – drinking it usually calms him down. And maybe-"

"I'll take your advice, but Derek? I need you to stop talking before you upset yourself, okay? As much as it so totally blows, his nightmares are no longer your concern or something you need to take care of. He needs to learn to talk about it and let it out without having to go to the last resort of talking to you when he really shouldn't. It sucks, and it hurts, and it's going to keep sucking, but you can't get sucked back into this. It's been three months and you two have somehow stayed separated, and I commend you for that, but you need to _stay_ separated if you want to keep this job. Now, I love you, and I wish you a good night, but he needs me."

He took a deep breath, sighing. "You're right. Good night, mama."

He heard the click of her phone and plugged his phone back in before curling up on the bed. He grabbed the pillow from the other side of the bed, inhaling deeply. Shortly after Spencer had left, he'd been able to pick up that pillow and smell him. It wasn't soap or shampoo or any form of cologne – it was just Spencer's scent, somewhat reminiscent of a library. As he smelled it, he noticed that the smell had finally died down: the last thing he really had to hold onto. Groaning, he threw the pillow at the wall, before attempting to get back to sleep, though at this time, he didn't really see the point.

_I know your insides are feeling so hollow, and it's a hard pill for you to swallow, yeah. But if I fall for you, I'll never recover. If I fall for you, I'll never be the same.  
_

Derek sat in his office, drinking his third cup of coffee that morning. In the past three months, he'd started a Spencer-like addiction to caffeine, to make up for the lack of sleep he was getting at night. Once he noticed his cup was empty, he sighed, throwing down his case file and grabbing his mug, walking out to the break room. Noticing the empty pot, he opened the cabinet, taking out the can of grounds and scooping them in. Leaning against the counter, he crossed his arms and let his eyes slip shut, impatiently waiting for the new pot to brew.

He heard someone walk toward him and cleared his throat, standing up straight. "It's going to be a few minutes." He then looked and saw that it was Spencer, his mug in hand.

Spencer chewed on his cheek, avoiding eye contact and setting his mug down on the counter.

Derek sighed, knowing that standing there in silence wasn't going to do them any favors. "How are you?"

Spencer turned around, to be sure none of the agents were looking into the break area, before turning his attention back to him. "Fine," he said shortly, eyeing the coffeemaker, willing it to go faster.

Derek shook his head, lowering his voice. "I'm not buying that."

"Excuse me?"

"What's bothering you?" he said, practically a whisper, leaning closer to him.

The smaller man looked at him. "What answer do you _want_ from me?" he snapped. "It's over, and you haven't called me _once_ in the past ninety-eight days to see how I was feeling. I don't know why you suddenly care, and I don't feel a need to make conversation while waiting for a half-decent cup of coffee."

Derek paused, stepping away from him. "You think I didn't call because I don't _care_? For someone that's supposed to be a genius, that's not your brightest moment."

Spencer dug his nails into his palm, exhaling. "You know how bad it gets when I'm alone," he spat out in a whisper. "You know how hard it is, and how much I need a friend. We agreed that when _this_ ended, it wouldn't affect our friendship. The only time you've called me in the past three months was on cases to get information from me. That's some friend, Derek."

Derek narrowed his eyes, practically a glare. "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware the phone only worked one way."

Spencer put up his hands. "I'm not having this argument with you." He eyed the coffeemaker and saw that it still wasn't ready. "Forget it, I'll just pick up a coffee on my break." He threw his mug into the sink before turning around, walking back to his desk and sinking into his seat, picking up his case file and reading through it.

* * *

Garcia walked in a few minutes later, as Derek was refilling his mug and pouring in sugar.

"Somebody likes it sweet," she said, pouring her own cup.

He shrugged, stirring the sugar in and throwing the stirrer into the trash.

She paused. "This is a," she motioned toward Spencer, "_thing_ isn't it?"

He gave her a quick nod. "…Do you have a few minutes?"

"For you?" she took his hand. "I have a few minutes, then a few more, and maybe even after that, a few more." She dragged him out of the bullpen and walked toward her lair.

JJ raised an eyebrow, looking over at Emily and pointing at them. "Do you have any idea what's going on with them?"

Emily shook her head. "Reid was the one to talk to him last. Any insight, Doc?"

Spencer didn't look up from his case file, but shrugged. "Anything that Derek Morgan does isn't any of my business. Who he involves himself with or spends time with is his decision."

JJ turned back to Emily. "What?"

"He's lost me too."

* * *

After walking into the lair, Garcia dragged over a chair for Derek to sit down, as well as setting down a coaster for his coffee mug. She sat down in her own, rolling it over and patting his knee.

"Out with it, champ."

"_Champ_?"

"I don't know, it seemed like a good pep-talk name, because you are so obviously in need of one right now."

"I don't think the world's greatest pep-talk could change how I feel."

"Challenge accepted," she told him, sipping her own coffee. "Step one, spill the beans. Number one? Why are you drinking his coffee? Nobody else on the planet drinks it that sweet."

He eyed the cup. "I've been drinking it since the day-" he trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. "I just… when you wake up and taste something every morning, you can't just erase it from your memory. He'd have his cup of coffee while I'd be in the shower, I'd come out, and he'd kiss me, and I remember tasting sickeningly sweet coffee. It's ridiculous, I know, but that little thing is what's keeping me together right now."

"So rotting your teeth out is the answer?"

He shrugged, reaching over and taking a sip. "It's just what I need. Eventually, I'm sure I'll fade out of it, but until then? It's what I feel I need to get through my days."

She put up her hands defensively. "Okay, I'm not going to stomp on your coffee habits, to each their own. Now, do you want to tell me why the break room felt like the North Pole the second I walked in there?"

He cleared his throat. "I had a run-in."

"With?"

He sighed. "With Spencer."

She looked at him, confused. "And how would one define a run-in in this situation?"

He straightened in the seat, tapping his fingers on the desk. "I was making the coffee, he came in, I told him it'd be a few minutes. I asked how he was, he said fine, I wasn't buying that bullshit answer."

"Derek, you didn't-"

He shook his head. "No, I didn't. Not directly, anyway. I didn't tell him anything you told me, and I didn't bring it up either. You're not in any trouble here."

"…But you are?"

"I asked what was bothering him, and he snapped."

"What did he say?"

He exhaled. "Something to the effect of 'I didn't call once in the past ninety-eight days to check on him, I don't care, and he doesn't know why I suddenly give a damn'."

"He did not."

"Oh, trust me, he did."

"…Please tell me you didn't retaliate?" she asked hopefully.

He quickly shook his head. "I insulted his intelligence for assuming that I don't give a shit about him anymore, which I'll admit, it was a low blow, but I'm just as lonely as he is right now. He shouldn't be attacking me when he could've very easily picked up a phone himself to check on me or have a simple conversation."

"But?"

"_But_ he immediately snapped back at me with me knowing how bad he gets when he's alone, and how hard it is for him to be that way, and that he needed a friend, which I wasn't being."

She leaned forward. "Have you talked to him in the past ninety-eight days, not work related?"

"No, but he hasn't either-"

She put up a hand to silence him. "I'm sorry, sweet cheeks, but I'm with him on this one." She saw him ready to interrupt and glared. "Let me _finish_. You're the alpha male, you won't admit anything's wrong, and I'm willing to bet you very rarely, if ever, showed any emotion in front of him, because you wanted to be the big strong man. He's always vulnerable and feels weak, and he needs a foundation to lean on, since he doesn't have any family he can call up and talk to. He has people on the team, but nobody understands what happened between you two except the three of us. Just because you lost him as a lover does not mean you needed to push him out as a friend too, Derek. He still needs you in his life."

He stayed silent for a minute, deep in thought. "I can't do that."

"Excuse me, what?"

He shook his head. "I can't go from being 'cuddle partner, love of his life Derek Morgan' to 'best friend Morgan'. That's not going to happen. I can't do that to myself, and more importantly, I can't do that to him."

"…You just prioritized him."

"What?"

"You didn't worry about your own emotions, Derek. You're more worried about him and how he's going to handle the situation." She sighed. "You still love him."

He avoided her eyes, but nodded. "I think I always will." He finally dared to look at her. "_Now_ do you realize why I can't just call him up and say hi? All of those emotions would resurface, and we'd both just end up hurt in the end. It's hard and it sucks, but it's just easier for me to treat him as a colleague – nothing more, and nothing less."

"But you don't realize what that's doing to _him_." She reached over, rubbing his arm. "He doesn't _need_ a colleague, Derek. Like I said, he _needs_ a friend, and he _needs_ you to be that friend."

"I can't be alone with him, Garcia. That would only cause problems."

"Then don't be," she answered quickly. "I can make plans, just the three of us. No alone time, and only some slightly awkward sexual tension, but that'll be radiating off of me and toward you."

He thought about it before running a hand over his face. "He's never going to go for it."

"Don't worry," she said, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "He needs you back in his life, in some way, shape, or form, and he's going to get it."

Garcia had dismissed him to his office, and walked in while he was working on a case file.

"Yes, Baby Girl?" he asked, eyes still on his work.

"What are you doing tonight?"

He thought to himself. "Walking Clooney, going to the gym, and then it's dinner for one. Why?"

"Because those plans are going out the window, and you're going to meet me at my place for dinner and a few drinks."

"And is this just the two of us, or-"

She shook her head. "It's going to be you, me, and the genius makes three."

"With how much he hates me right now, you _really_ made that happen?"

She shrugged. "What can I say? I'm no profiler, but I have one hell of a way with words."

"I'm sure you do." He leaned back in his chair. "What time should I be there?"

"It doesn't matter. Go home, walk your dog, freshen up, and meet at my place whenever."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely positive."

"And Garcia-"

"You two won't be left alone." She held up her hand. "Scout's honor."

After getting home, Derek took Clooney outside, and looked through his closet, trying to find something. He didn't know why he was putting so much work into it, considering it was just a dinner with Garcia, and it was just going to be Spencer, who was now _just_ his co-worker. He finally decided to pull on a clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans, then put on his shoes and grabbed his keys, walking out of the apartment.

* * *

Meanwhile, Spencer was at Garcia's apartment, setting down a bottle of wine.

"So it's just the two of us?" he asked, looking over at her.

She shook her head. "Not _exactly_."

"What does that mean? Is Kevin coming by?" He hung his bag up by the door, walking to the kitchen and trying to peek at what she was cooking.

She hit his hand with the spatula. "One, you're not finding out until dinner, and two, Kevin and I broke up several months ago, where have you been?"

"Nursing one of the world's most painful broken hearts? Thanks for rubbing it in."

She sighed, reaching over and rubbing his arm. "Sweetie, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

He sighed, shaking his head. "Forget it. Who's coming by?"

She avoided eye contact, putting a pot on the stove. "Just somebody from work," she put plainly, putting on an oven mitt and looking in the oven, closing the door.

"_Somebody?_" he paused, trying to think about who she'd invite. Judging by the fact she was avoiding eye contact and saying who it was, he groaned. "You did not invite Derek Morgan to your apartment tonight."

She winced. "Guilty."

He stayed silent for a minute before walking back to the door, picking up his bag.

She groaned, following him and standing in front of the door. "_No_."

"Excuse me?"

"Spencer Reid, I care about you, and I love you dearly. I'm doing this for your own good."

"My own good?"

She sighed. "Over the past three months you have been this constant mope-y zombie. I love being there for you and helping you through this, because it's a really tough time in your life, and it sucks, it super duper sucks, but I can't keep putting the pieces back together to watch you fall apart again. As much as you don't want to admit it? You want Derek Morgan back in your life."

"Yeah, and the way I want him in my life, I'm not getting back, and to be honest, he's not very high on my list of people I want to spend time with right now."

"Because of your little blowout today?"

"Derek told you?"

"Boy Wonder, I didn't need to be _told_ anything. You are giving off the world's worst cold front around him. Trust me, I get it, he hasn't talked to you in these three months when communication would be crucial. No offense, my dove, but you haven't picked up the phone either." She saw him ready to interrupt and put up a finger. "You let me finish before you butt in and storm out of here. It's sucked for both of you, and he may be the big strong man, but that doesn't mean he's handling this any better than you are, and you blowing up at him wasn't the best thing you could've done. Admit it."

He looked at her, sighing. "I could've handled the situation a lot better. I threw a very childlike tantrum, and you're right, he didn't deserve it."

"Then do you think, for me and you, you can stay and talk to him, attempt to work out whatever issues you two have? I know it's not going to be like it was, but if I can sense the tension from my lair, there is no way in hell everyone else hasn't picked up that _something_ happened."

He seemed to consider it before setting his bag down, sighing. "Fine, but please, don't leave the two of us alone in a room together."

"I already gave him my word that I wouldn't, and I intend to keep it."

* * *

Derek paced outside the door of Garcia's apartment, his thoughts getting the best of him. He wasn't sure how Spencer would take him being there, especially considering their interaction earlier in the day. Running a hand over his scalp, he took a deep breath, before knocking on the door.

"Just a minute!" Garcia called out, checking her timers. She then eyed Spencer. "Unless you want to get it?"

He gave her a look. "_Really_?"

"Sorry, I just – very rare blonde moment." She put up a hand. "I'll get the door, you try not to look so awkward and that I'm holding you captive."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'll try?"

"All I ask." She walked over to the door, checking the peephole and unlocking it, pulling it open. "It's about time you get here, chocolate thunder."

"I thought you said-"

She swatted at his arm. "Kidding, kidding, you're right on time." She grabbed his hand, pulling him in. "Dinner's going to be ready in five, just get yourself comfortable."

He looked in the living room and saw Spencer sitting in one of the chairs and opted to take the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. Garcia walked into the kitchen, pulling open the blinds between the rooms. "Drink, talk, be merry, just for the love of all that is holy, stop with the awkward silences. That's my number one rule tonight. No awkward."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that you invited _me_ tonight, right?"

Derek couldn't hold back his laugh and smirked, shaking his head. "He's got a point, Baby Girl."

She rolled her eyes. "Enough from the peanut gallery. You two converse while I set the table and such."

"Garcia, what about our _agreement_?"

"Are you alone? No." She eyed Spencer. "Is there a door to my kitchen?"

"Not technically, no."

"Then _technically_ I am still in the same room, and I'm not breaking my promises to either of you. Now stop talking to me and start talking to each other."

There was silence for a minute before Spencer spoke up. "I'm sorry."

Derek turned to face him. "What?"

He cleared his throat. "For my little, um, outburst in the break room." He avoided Derek's eyes, shifting in his seat. "It wasn't fair to you, and it definitely wasn't work appropriate, so I just wanted to apologize."

"Well, thank you, I guess. But I owe you an apology too." He got up, moving closer to Spencer and lowering his voice. "It wasn't fair of me to not talk to you after everything that happened. You were right, and I was being a pretty shitty friend. I'm sorry for only focusing on my own pain and not yours. I should've at least called once or checked in on how you were feeling. I'm _really_ sorry, Spencer. Can you forgive me?"

He chanced a look up at Derek and saw his eyes: there were so many nights he'd fallen asleep after looking into those eyes, and woken up to them the next morning. They were filled with compassion, and he knew that Derek was being genuine. He sighed, nodding slightly. "On one condition."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "I'm listening."

Spencer bit down on his lower lip before looking back at Derek. "I need you back in my life, Derek." He saw him ready to interrupt and shook his head. "Not like that but… I can't keep tiptoeing around each other at work, because pretty soon, everyone's going to catch on and realize that _something_ happened here. I understand we can't have what we did, but… but I need your friendship again. I need you kidding around and I," he exhaled, lowering his voice, "I need to feel _some_ happiness again."

Derek cautiously reached over, squeezing Spencer's hand. He felt Spencer jump and Derek pulled his hand away. I'm sorry."

Spencer shook his head, taking Derek's hand and squeezing it. "It's okay. There just need to be some, you know, ground rules for this friendship."

"This is about to get extremely over-complicated, isn't it?"

"Unfortunately."

Garcia walked in and saw Derek's hand on Spencer's knee. "I leave for ten minutes to check on dinner and you two are canoodling? Nuh uh, nope, Derek. Hand off _now_."

He raised an eyebrow, moving his hand. "We were _just_ talking, Baby Girl."

"Oh I doubt tha-" she paused. "You were _talking_? As in not bitching at each other passive aggressively and being colder than the North Pole?"

Spencer nodded. "Talking, apologizing, and for lack of a better word, bonding."

She squealed, clapping her hands. "Then it's time to celebrate – dinner is served!"

* * *

While they were eating dinner, Derek kept looking up at Spencer, as if to be reassured he was still there. Not even on a case had the two of them had this kind of closeness: usually when the team ordered out, one would make an excuse to grab their food and head back to the hotel, or one would volunteer to pick up the food and eat on the way.

"So what were we talking about?" Garcia asked, poking around on her plate.

Spencer looked up at Derek then over at her. "We apologized to each other for our less-than-friendly behavior toward one another over the past few months-"  
"Good, perfect, just what the doctor ordered…"

"And we came to an agreement," Derek finished, setting down his fork and wiping his mouth.

"What is this agreement, is it legal, and dear God, do I have to start covering up for you two again?"

Spencer shook his head. "It's just a mutual decision that we're going to be there for one another, not to the extent that we had before, but we're going to be friends again, because we can't deal with the, to use your terminology, _awkward_."

She scoffed. "_You_ can't deal with the awkward? Hi, I've been dealing with a double dose of the awkward. I love you both, and I'm glad you found comfort in me instead of something bad like you know, alcohol, but it was _so_ emotionally taxing on my poor soul."

Derek reached over, rubbing her arm. "Well don't worry, sweetness, because 'the awkward' is gone. Instead of coming to you, we're going to try being friends again and lean on each other."

She got up, picking up their plates. "Not to be the wet towel, but… how are you going to do that, but not have it escalate?"

Spencer gave her a slight shrug. "I guess we're just… not going to let it get that far."

"I wish both of you luck with that. You, Derek, because he is the perfect Whovian, and you, Boy Wonder, for quite obvious reasons," she said, pointing to Derek and walking to the kitchen, setting the plates in the sink.

Derek rolled his eyes. "Anything else planned for tonight, Baby Girl?"

"Yes, a glass of wine and a classic movie. Go sit while I clean up."

Spencer stood up, grabbing a few things off the table.

"No!" Garcia snapped. "I am the hostess, you are the guest. _Go_."

He put up his hands defensively before walking to the couch, sitting down and pulling his legs underneath himself.

During the movie, Garcia sat between the two of them, because she swore that there was some form of tension going on, and she wasn't going to have any of it. Once it was over, she stood up, picking up their wine glasses.

"So I'll see you two tomorrow?"

Derek nodded, leaning over and kissing her cheek. "Tonight was great, Baby Girl. Thank you."

She saluted him. "Believe me, it was my pleasure."

He took his keys out of his pocket before patting Spencer on the arm. "See you tomorrow, kid."

Spencer gave him a smile, and Derek felt happiness for the first time in a while. "I'd better not have any more case files added to my desk."

"You won't… once I go in and fix the problem."

Spencer dramatically rolled his eyes and Derek laughed to himself, walking out.

* * *

He didn't know why, but part of Derek was telling him to stick around for a while. He paced outside the apartment complex, thinking to himself. He _could_ be 'just friends' with Spencer: he was not the type of person to back down from a challenge, and this would be the biggest of them all. He saw Spencer walking out and cleared his throat, walking up to him.

"…Hello, Derek?" Spencer said, adjusting his bag on his shoulder and walking past him.

"Do you maybe need a ride back to your place?" he offered, following.

Spencer stopped in his tracks before turning around to face him, eyebrow raised. "_You're_ offering me a ride home? Why?"

Derek cleared his throat, feeling a lump forming. "I know you're going to walk to the train station, and nobody with a fully able body should be making that trek in the dark, let alone you with your bad knee. Let me give you a ride, please?" He saw Spencer still thinking and sighed. "Consider it my apology for being a jackass the last few months."

He saw Spencer's face change and twist into a smile again. "I suppose if you _owe_ me."

Derek laughed to himself, walking over and unlocking his car, getting in and starting it.

On the drive to Spencer's apartment, Derek looked over at him to see he was distracted.

"You okay over there?" he asked as he stopped at a red light.

Spencer gave him a quick nod before staring at the darkness outside of the window.

"Kid, I know you better than you know yourself, you can't keep secrets from me. What's up?"

Spencer sighed, fidgeting with his hands, before turning to look at Derek. "How are we going to erase more than three years of commitment to each other, throw it all out the window, and be _friends_, Derek? Like I said, I miss you and I need you back, but I don't know how we're going to handle only being able to go so far."

Derek cleared his throat, shifting in his seat as the light changed. He drove, thinking to himself. "Well, we do everything we used to do, just without, you know _everything_ we used to do. I mean, we can still hang out, watch movies, get lunch – that sort of stuff. We just can't let it go past that."

"How many of your exes are you 'just friends' with? Because I personally have none."

Derek sighed, thinking back. "I'm one for challenges, Spencer Reid. Are you up for it?"

"Is that your way of saying 'none' as well?"

"That's my way of saying this is going to be a hell of a struggle for both of us, but I'm willing to try it, for the sake of my sanity and our team."

Spencer took a deep breath before nodding. "I think I can do it."

Derek pulled up to the apartment building, parking. "Good, because tomorrow? I say lunch, just the two of us, so we can talk without having a Garcia constantly trying to change the subject to avoid awkward tension."

He considered it and sighed. "Fine, but I'm choosing the place."

"Sounds like a plan. Good night, Pretty Boy."

Spencer smiled to himself, opening the door and putting the bag over his shoulder. Derek made sure he made it into the building before driving back to his place.

After getting back to his apartment, he took Clooney for a walk and turned in early. He'd be a liar if he'd said he would be able to handle this situation perfectly, but they'd been right: they couldn't tiptoe around each other anymore. He leaned back, putting an arm behind his head and sighing. Staring at his ceiling, he tried to figure out just how the two of them were going to do this.

* * *

Meanwhile, at his apartment, Spencer was trying to keep himself busy, not letting the idea of spending time alone with Derek tomorrow get to him. However, his mind was constantly nagging him about all the things that could go wrong. The split had been especially hard on Spencer: he didn't have family to turn to like Derek had, and he couldn't lean on anybody on the team, because that would mean telling them about the two of them in the first place. Sure, he had Garcia to help, but she was also helping Derek through the 'break-up'. All he had was writing to his mother in the letters, but that wasn't a very reliable source of comfort, considering he had to wait for a reply from her to even try to feel better.

He'd tried taking a few classes, just to get his mind off of everything that happened. Unfortunately, in typical Spencer Reid fashion, he finished everything in a few weeks and had nothing else to distract him. Every night for the last fifteen weeks, he dreamed of Derek. In his dreams, there were no rules, there was nothing to keep the two of them apart. They were free to do as they pleased and they were both happy. It made waking up every morning painful, and going into work even worse. The times he didn't dream about Derek, his nightmares had come back: sleeping in the same bed as Derek had been the cure, and considering their current situation, that, wasn't going to happen. Most of his nights were spent lying awake, staring into the darkness and missing what he'd had, wishing he hadn't gone out to dinner with Derek that night. He could say all the comforting words he wanted, but he knew it was his fault.

* * *

At work the next day, the two of them filled up on coffee, to make up for their lack of sleep and to get their minds off of that afternoon. Spencer kept himself busy with his case files, and after breezing through them, offered to take a few from Emily and JJ.

JJ raised an eyebrow, leaning back in her chair. "What's up, Spence?"

"Why would something be up?" he asked, flipping through a case file and scanning the content.

"I don't know, the last few months, you've been _off_. And now, this morning, you've gone through not only all of your remaining case files, but took several of mine and Emily's too?"

Emily looked at her. "You're complaining _why_? He's making our jobs easier."

"I'm just curious. He's been acting distant and I'm worried about him."

He threw down his case file. "For those concerned, I'm fine, really. It's just a rough patch in my life, I'll get over it."

"A rough patch?" JJ looked at him, concerned. "Spence, do you need to talk?"

He quickly shook his head. "It's… it's nothing, it's fine, really. Thank you, though." He went right back to his work, effectively ending the conversation.

Derek walked up to his desk a few hours later, knocking on it. "Hey, kid, did you get lunch yet?"

Spencer looked over at the clock before shaking his head. "I guess not."

"Come on, I'm springing you out of here for your own good."

"Right on time," Emily said, clicking her pen a few times. "He's starting to scare us with his kindness."

Spencer mock laughed, setting down his folder and putting his bag over his shoulder. "Let's go."

He followed Derek out of the bullpen and over to the elevator, thankful for the break. "There is far too much estrogen in that bullpen."

Derek smirked, laughing to himself. "You could always come to my office if you need a little peace and quiet. There's plenty of room."

"I may just have to take you up on that."

While they were at lunch, they were both relieved to find that they could engage in small talk without any awkward pauses, mainly because Spencer very rarely left opportunity for them. At one point, Derek stirred the straw around in his drink before looking at Spencer.

"So, kid," he started.

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

He exhaled. "How bad are the nightmares?"

Spencer blinked a few times before sighing, chewing on his lip. "It's… honestly? I fight to stay awake, just so I don't have to sleep, because it's always one of two things. I either fall asleep and the nightmares come back, worse than they were before… or I fall asleep and I dream about you." He avoided eye contact, looking down at the table and suddenly finding his placemat fascinating.

Derek reached over, grabbing a hand and squeezing it. "You're not alone."

"Right, what does Derek Morgan have to worry about?"

He shifted in his seat, lowering his voice. "Falling asleep and never wanting to wake up, because anytime I've closed my eyes, all I see is the one person who ever meant anything to me." He gave Spencer's hand one final squeeze before pulling his hand back, picking up his fork and poking what was left of his food.

Spencer's eyes seemed to light up. "…So I'm not alone?"

He shook his head. "Not by a longshot. And Spencer?"

"Hm?"

"…If they ever get that bad, you know you can call me? Stopping this," he started, pointing back and forth, "doesn't stop me from being there. You were right, I was a jackass, and I need to make it up to you."

"And what am I supposed to do?" Spencer asked, leaning back and crossing his arms. "I wasn't exactly _friendly_ either."

Derek shrugged. "I'm sure we can figure something out."

Neither of them would admit it to the other, but that lunch had been exactly what they needed. Over the next week, they had gotten close: almost as close as they had been before the whole mess started. They were talking at work, they were interacting on the case they were sent on, and they even spent time together outside of work. One night was spent at the Smithsonian at an exhibit that Spencer just _had_ to show Derek, and one night was spent at the gym, because Derek insisted that Spencer needed to learn how to throw a punch, considering his bad luck with unsubs. Everything seemed to be back to some sort of normal – for now.


	2. Chapter 2

_I really wanna love somebody, I really wanna dance the night away. I know we're only half way there but you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way._

Unfortunately for both of them, the fact that they were talking again did nothing for their trouble sleeping at night. Derek had just woken up from a very vivid dream when he noticed his phone ringing on his nightstand. Taking a few deep breaths, he reached over, checking the caller ID. Seeing that it was Spencer, he answered, leaning against his headboard.

"Hey, Pretty Boy. Is everything okay?"

Spencer tried catching his breath and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I know it's late, but Garcia wasn't answering her phone and I didn't know who else to call."

He shifted slightly. "It's no big deal, I said I'd be here for you and I meant it. Do you need to talk?"

Spencer swallowed, running a hand through his hair. "I think so."

Derek reached over, petting Clooney, who was fast asleep on the other half of the bed. "Then I'm all ears."

Spencer went into great detail of his latest nightmare, and Derek squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could do anything else but just sit here and listen. All he wanted to do was go over to his apartment, pull Spencer into his arms, and let him know everything was going to be okay, giving him a comfortable place to fall asleep.

Spencer stopped mid-sentence. "…Derek, are you still there?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm still here. Does it help, you know, talking about it?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "but it gives me something to do that isn't sleeping and having another one. I'm sorry, you probably want to get to sleep."

"No, it's fine, I was already awake."

Spencer looked over at the clock, eyebrow raised. "You were still awake after midnight?"

He quickly shook his head, though the gesture was pointless. "No, I um, I was just woken up too, so I'd say you have impeccable timing."

"Well, that could have something to do with the fact we spent over three years together?"

"Could be." He ran a hand over his scalp. "Spencer, just talk."

"Talk? About what?"

"Anything that'll keep your mind off of everything that scares you. I don't care how long it takes, just talk to me until you're calm enough to try to get back to sleep."

"…Are you sure? I mean, it's might be pretty late by the time that happens-"

"-And as your friend, I'm not going to care. Now come on, I know the great Doctor Spencer Reid has something he's dying to talk about."

He smirked when Spencer started talking. "Well, actually, I did watch this documentary after work today, and-"

The two of them stayed on the phone for a few hours before Derek bothered to look at a clock. He saw how late it was and wanted to stop Spencer, but this was the first time that Spencer trusted him in nearly four months, and he wasn't going to screw up again. He heard Spencer's breathing even out and smiled to himself, shaking his head.

"Spencer, go to bed."

"Hm?" he mumbled.

He laughed softly. "Plug in your phone and go to bed. You're finally tired and you could use a few hours' sleep before we have to go to work."

Spencer blinked a few times before looking back at the clock, yawning softly. "I'll see you in the morning?"

"You bet – I'll drop off a disgustingly sweet coffee at your desk before going to my office."

Spencer smiled slightly. "Thank you for tonight, Derek. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime, Pretty Boy. Now get some sleep."

Spencer said a quick goodbye before rolling over, plugging in his phone and curling up, falling asleep.

Derek put his phone on to charge and laid back down, running a hand over his face. Yes, he enjoyed being there for Spencer and being able to calm him down enough to get him back to sleep, and he knew how much of a feat that was, considering before they'd gotten serious, he'd have to do it several times a week. He enjoyed being a friend for Spencer and someone for him to lean on when things got hard for him. However, there was still a part of his mind that nagged him that he should forget the rules and find a loophole for the two of them. There were so many days when he wanted to sit home with the handbook and scan ever single nook and cranny of it for a way to still be with him. In the back of his mind, he still loved Spencer, and knew that was never going to go away. It sucked, and it was something he knew he couldn't just push back with time. Sighing, he decided to stop his mind from nagging him so he could try to get some sleep.

* * *

There were several points where the two of them could've been considered as 'crossing the line', but neither of them were going to admit it and ruin whatever it was they had. The two of them fell into some sort of routine, where at least once a week, one would spend time at the other's apartment, eating dinner and watching a movie. One night, Spencer had been especially tired, but he didn't want to cancel his plans and seem like a bad friend. He showed up at Derek's apartment with Chinese food and an action movie he was sure would somehow hold his interest. However, after finishing his food, he curled up on the couch, pulling the blanket from the back over himself. Halfway through the movie, he shifted his position on the couch, leaning against Derek and falling asleep. As if it was instinct, Derek wrapped an arm around him and rubbed Spencer's arm, keeping his focus on the movie.

Spencer woke up after the movie, sitting up and rubbing his eyes, and Derek moved his arm back as if nothing had happened.

"I thought picking an action movie would've kept me awake," Spencer admitted, stretching slightly. "I guess this is one of few times I'm wrong."

Derek smirked. "I'll alert the media, I'm sure JJ still has the power to call a press conference."

Spencer rolled his eyes, swatting at Derek with the back of his hand. "Very funny."

The two of them ended up talking for a few hours before Derek looked at Spencer, realizing he'd be too tired to drive himself home.

"Let me get you a blanket. There's no way I'm letting you drive home and wrap your car around a pole because you're sleep deprived."

Spencer opened his mouth to protest, but yawned instead. He gave Derek a nod and Derek came back a few minutes later with a blanket and pillow for him, setting them down on the couch. Spencer immediately took them, setting the pillow against the arm of the couch and lying down, pulling the blanket over himself. Derek checked on him twice that night, to be sure he was sleeping well, and that night, Spencer didn't have a single nightmare haunting him.

* * *

Another point where they crossed the line was when the team had been on a case in Gary, Indiana. Once the case was solved, Derek decided to go back home, considering it was less than an hour away from them. The team opted to stay the night in Indiana, allowing Derek his personal time and making it easier for him to get home, going with the team the next day. Spencer had offered him some company for the drive, considering it was already dark. Derek didn't think about it and shrugged it off, having him grab his go-bag from his hotel room and meeting him at the SUV. While they were driving, Spencer turned the radio to a classical station, like he had whenever the two of them would go out on a date. Derek dismissed it and kept driving, starting to hum along with a few of the songs. When he parked outside his mother's house, he turned to Spencer.

"Do you want me to wait out here?" Spencer asked. "It's fine, I can just read a book or two."

Derek shook his head. "Not a chance. One, this isn't exactly the safest neighborhood, and you get hurt enough on the job, let alone something happening off the job. Two, you know my mom's going to want to see you, despite what happened, and she's going to want to feed you."

Spencer smiled slightly, picking up his bag and putting it over his shoulder, getting out of the car and closing the door behind him.

They both heard the lock click on the doors before Derek walked up the steps, Spencer following. Shortly after knocking on the door, his mother opened it, immediately pulling Derek into a hug.

"I didn't know you were coming by," she said, squeezing him tighter.

He smiled, patting her back. "It would've ruined the surprise. I hope you don't mind having us for the night."

She raised an eyebrow. "Us?"

He stepped back. "Mom, you remember Spencer."

Spencer held up his hand, waving slightly. "Hi, Mrs. Morgan," he said softly, adjusting the strap on his messenger bag.

"For the thousandth time, Spencer, you can call me Fran." She gave him a hug, rubbing his back. "I just finished some peach cobbler, if you'd like to have a piece."

He smiled, giving her a nod, walking to the kitchen in her apartment.

"Peach cobbler? And why does _he_ get the first piece?" Derek teased.

She closed the door, locking it. "Because you're going to be busy explaining yourself."

"Excuse me?"

She motioned toward the kitchen. "When did this happen?"

He looked at her, eyebrow raised. "When did _what_ happen?"

"You two? Again?"

He shook his head. "It hasn't. The rules are still in place and unfortunately, there's nothing either of us can do to change it."

"You know I care about him, Derek, but why is he here?"

He shrugged. "It was either a night alone in his hotel room with takeout or a good home-cooked meal. Considering when he goes home he doesn't even get that, he deserves it at least once."

She eyed the kitchen before looking back at him. "Derek, I don't want you setting yourself up for something you can't handle."

He put up his hands. "Just because we don't date anymore, it doesn't mean we can't be friends. He doesn't have many people he trusts, and he needs a friend right now."

She sighed. "Just be careful, okay? I don't want to see my baby get hurt again."

He pulled her into another hug. "I will be."

That night, Fran made the two of them a nice, home-cooked meal. Over dinner, she kept up small talk, not letting it show how worried she was about Derek in the current situation. Before going to bed, Derek patted Spencer's knee.

"Are you going to be okay out here?" he asked after turning off the TV.

Spencer nodded. "I'll be fine knowing you're here without actually being _here_, if that makes sense."

"It does." He ruffled Spencer's hair before getting up, grabbing a blanket and setting it on the couch, along with a pillow. "If you need anything, you know where everything is, and my room is right down the hall."

"I know. Thank you."

He watched to be sure Spencer could get comfortable on the couch before walking to his old bedroom, lying down on the bed and tucking an arm underneath the pillow, falling asleep. The next morning, he woke up Spencer easily and made the two of them breakfast before they had to catch an early flight. Neither of them mentioned how it was similar to their old morning routine.

* * *

There was one night, however, that crossed the line and even made its way to crossing another line. They had just gotten home from a particularly difficult case, five months after they had split up. Spencer had shot the unsub to keep him from attacking Derek, and he was still shaken up over it. Instead of dropping Spencer off at his place to spend the night alone, and most likely have a nightmare, Derek brought him back to his apartment, giving him an invitation to stay the night.

Once they were inside the apartment, Derek grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge, holding one out to Spencer. He wasn't normally a drinker, but after a case like this, Derek couldn't blame him. Spencer took the bottle, twisting off the top and throwing it away, taking a big gulp.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Derek asked, before taking a sip of his own.

Spencer shook his head, taking another sip. "What is there to talk about? We had a dangerous unsub, he had his gun aimed at another agent, so instead of waiting for him to pull the trigger and kill his fifth victim, I shot. It's a justified murder and nothing's going to be held against me."

Derek sighed. "That's not what I meant, Spencer."

He sighed, sitting down at the kitchen table, setting down his empty bottle and spinning it around. "I killed somebody." He wiped his eyes before taking a deep breath. "It was necessary, but I took a life. This job is about saving people, and I killed someone."

Derek sat across from him, stopping the bottle mid-spin. "You did what you had to do. You saved my life tonight, Spencer, and I can't thank you enough."

Spencer chewed on his cheek, looking down at the table. "I should've been able to talk him down or do something other than shoot him right on the spot."

"You didn't have a choice. The safety was off and he was going to shoot, and if he had? We wouldn't be having this conversation right now, because he was going for a killshot."

"Don't," Spencer snapped, not looking up.

"Don't what?"

Spencer dug his nails into his palm. "Don't talk like you wouldn't be here right now, Derek. You would've been able to duck out of the way or something."

"Not exactly. Nobody knows how they're going to react in a moment of panic and stress. I owe you my life right now, kid."

Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat, cursing himself and wiping his eyes.

Derek sighed, reaching over and rubbing his arm, squeezing. "Thank you." He didn't see any form of reaction from Spencer and figured he'd try to make him smile. "Besides, for all those times I've saved your ass on the job? You owed me one."

Spencer smirked, pushing Derek's arm off and wiping his eyes.

* * *

When Spencer had calmed down, Derek picked up the bottle. "How about I call and order a pizza, then the two of us can spend the rest of the night watching movies? We don't have to talk about this case anymore, and since you already gave your statement to Hotch, you won't have to talk about it ever again. You can push it to the back of your genius mind, and since your memory only pertains to things you've read, you'll be fine."

Spencer smiled slightly. "We'll see if that actually works." He got up, walking to the kitchen and grabbing another beer, before walking to the living room and making himself comfortable on the couch.

After the pizza arrived, Derek set it on the table in the living room and sat down next to Spencer, holding out the remote to him.

"What?" Spencer asked, picking out a slice and putting it on a plate.

"You saved my life, it's only fair that you get to pick the programming."

Spencer rolled his eyes, taking the remote from him. "You said I wouldn't have to talk about it."

"You're not talking about it. I'm simply mentioning it."

Spencer mock laughed, flipping through the channels and setting his feet up on the table. He finally landed on an episode of Doctor Who and leaned back, picking the pepperoni off of his slice and eating it.

Derek shook his head. "I see you're still picking apart your pizza before eating it, even though I _do _order half cheese."

He shrugged. "I like what I like." He started picking off the cheese with his fingers and eating it, wiping his hand on the napkin and eating the slice.

Derek smiled to himself, shaking his head again before eating his own pizza and watching the show. Spencer had tried time and time again to get him into this show, but Derek never quite obsessed over it like Spencer had. He wouldn't admit it, but after they split up, he would watch the show and he started his own obsession with it, though he never watched through it, beginning to end.

"I can't believe that," Derek said, laughing to himself and running a hand over his scalp.

Spencer raised an eyebrow, turning to face Derek. "Excuse me?"

Derek motioned toward the TV. "This episode, The Unicorn and the Wasp? He's trying to get rid of the cyanide poisoning, he needs a shock, and she kisses him. They definitely know how to make you laugh, because… wow."

Spencer looked at him, still confused. "You know the title of the episode?"

Derek nodded. "I think this is the… _fourth_ time I've seen this one? I don't know why, but I replayed it a few times after it showed up on my DVR. It was still recording and instead of deleting them, I decided to start watching it. You know, you were right, this show is great once you catch on. Though I could _definitely_ do without the weeping angels."

Spencer laughed softly. "I can agree with that." He set his plate down on the table, finishing the last of his drink and leaning back.

* * *

"You know what I don't understand?" Spencer stated, wiping off his hands and throwing the napkin onto his plate.

"Sarcasm? Human emotion? Basic motor skills?" Derek suggested.

Spencer rolled his eyes, swatting at Derek's chest. "_No_."

"Then tell me."

Spencer swallowed. "It just, it doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't?" Derek asked, straightening up and looking at him.

Spencer furrowed his brows. "The rules clearly state that bureau employees can not date fellow bureau employees, hence the predicament we're in." He paused, biting down on his lip. "But there are agents and other people in the bureau who date each other, and nobody's come down on _them_. But oh no, two BAU agents who work well together just happen to be dating and it needs to stop." He scoffed. "It's ridiculous, if you think about it. Look at how much of a roller coaster Garcia and Kevin's relationship had been. She's let it affect her work and _nothing_."

At first, Derek didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure what he could say in that moment to make Spencer feel better, and to be honest, he didn't know if anything would, because he often wondered the same thing. He rested an arm on the back of the couch. "There's a lot of things we can't make sense of in the world. Unfortunately, this is one of them."

Spencer ran a hand through his hair, smirking and shaking his head. "I had to suggest going out to dinner," he mumbled to himself.

Now Derek definitely knew he was speechless. He blamed himself plenty for what happened, and didn't need to hear Spencer doing the same.

"Spencer," he said softly, reaching over and running a hand through his hair.

Spencer turned to face him. "You can blame me, Derek, I do too."

He shook his head, moving closer to the smaller man. "You're not to blame for this. This is as much your fault as it is mine, and I can't let you sit here and beat yourself up."

Spencer licked his lips. "But I-"

Derek put a finger to his lips. "No."

"But-"

Derek cupped a hand over his mouth. "_No_."

"But Derek," Spencer said, muffled against Derek's hand.

Derek shook his head, closing the gap between the two of them and not even thinking a fraction of a second before leaning in, capturing Spencer's lips with his and wrapping an arm around his neck to move him as close as possible.

_I really wanna touch somebody. I think about you every single day. I know we're only half way there, but you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way.  
_

When the kiss was quickly returned, Derek had never felt such a combination of relief and happiness. He was even happier when he pushed back the part of his mind that was telling him to stop, because he knew this is what they both needed in that moment. After everything Spencer had been through that day, he needed closeness, he needed a release, and most importantly, he needed company. He reached down, untucking the smaller man's shirt, running his hand under it and smiling to himself when Spencer arched to his touch. He pulled back to look at Spencer, and his eyes were filled with pure lust.

"Bedroom," Spencer said, before pulling Derek in for another kiss. Derek reached over, picking up Spencer, and smirking as his long legs were wrapped around his middle. Walking toward his bedroom, he never broke the kiss, setting Spencer down in the middle of the bed and climbing on top of him. Spencer pulled back to catch his breath, before reaching down and grabbing Derek's shirt, pulling it over his head and running his long fingers over his chest. He looked down and traced every single muscle, committing them to memory once again.

Derek smiled, slipping Spencer's shirt off and discarding it, before placing a soft kiss on the smaller man's neck and tugging at his earlobe with his teeth, causing him to moan.

"Fuck," Spencer mumbled, grabbing Derek's head and pulling it toward him, pulling him into another kiss. It took Derek no time to ease off his pants, and Spencer quickly worked at his.

The two stayed there for a minute, looking into each other's eyes.

Spencer pulled his lip between his teeth, looking up at Derek. His eyes hadn't changed since they were on the couch, and he knew Spencer wanted this. After waiting five months to have this again, he wasn't going to let anything get in the way. He reached over, grabbing the foil packet and ripping it open with his teeth.

Much like every other time they'd been together, there was nothing quick about it. Neither of them wanted it to end, and wanted to go as long as they possibly could. When it finally did, Derek laid down beside Spencer, catching his breath. He rolled over on his side to look at Spencer. "You okay over there?"

Spencer exhaled, running a hand through his hair, a smile across his face which was far from fading. He gave Derek a quick nod. "I um, I think I might need a shower."

Derek smirked. "Company?"

He shook his head. "No, I fear if anything else happens, I'll have my old limp back." He leaned over, kissing Derek's cheek, before climbing out of the bed, wrapping a sheet around his body and walking out to the living room to grab his go-bag. He set it on the nightstand, digging through for a clean pair of boxers, and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Derek walked into the bathroom, grabbing a wash cloth from the sink and cleaning himself off, before pulling on a clean pair of boxers. He threw the cloth into the laundry basket, gave Spencer a wolf whistle, and went back to the bedroom, not needing to see the blush across the smaller man's face. Sitting up in bed, he leaned against the headboard, his arms crossed in front of him. He couldn't find it in him to regret what he just did, because he couldn't even if he tried. Something had been missing in his life the past five months, and he finally had it back, as twisted as it was.

Spencer emerged a few minutes later, attempting to towel dry his hair.

Derek leaned forward, grabbing the towel. "You always sucked at this. Head down."

Spencer tilted his head toward Derek, who dried up his hair and ran his fingers through it, smirking. "Perfect." He tossed the towel to the corner of his room and watched as Spencer started walking out of the room. "…Where are you going?"

He raised an eyebrow, pointing out to the living room. "I thought-"

"So you're a one-night stand kind of man?"

He blushed, shaking his head. "I just, I didn't know if-"

Derek shook his head, getting up. "I need to let Clooney into the yard for a few minutes, then if you'd like, we can talk or do whatever you want to do."

Spencer nodded, stepping toward the bed and climbing on, pulling the blankets over himself.

When Derek came back a few minutes later, he saw Spencer with one of his pillows against his chest. It reminded him of when he had kept a grip on the pillow that still had traces of Spencer's scent on it. He intentionally bumped into the door to make some noise to alert the smaller man that he'd come back, but didn't look toward the bed, instead kicking his shoes off and setting them next to his bedroom door. He then turned off the light and walked over to the bed, lying down and looking over at Spencer.

"You okay?"

Spencer nodded quickly, biting his lip and moving closer to him. "Derek?"

"Yeah, Spencer?" he asked, wrapping an arm around him.

He cleared his throat, chewing on his cheek. "I… I can't do this again. I can't walk out of here and be nothing again." He swallowed, sniffing. "I can't be alone again after this. Please don't do that to me."

Derek shook his head, kissing Spencer's forehead and rubbing his back. "I'm not going anywhere."

"But the rules-"

"I don't give a damn about any rules, Spencer. I spent the last five months completely miserable and wishing I had _this_ again. I'm not going to lose you. I can't handle the dreams, you can't handle the nightmares and… I'm not doing that to either of us."

Spencer exhaled. "But what about-"

He put a finger to his lips. "We'll find a way to make it happen, now that we know what _not_ to do. I don't know about you, but I couldn't do this all over again. It hurt enough the first time and I don't know if I'll recover from this going away again."

"So what do we do?"

Derek shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe we don't do it every night again. Maybe we can talk nearly or every night, but we can't have _this_ every night, so when it does happen, it's all the more special."

"And if anyone suspects something?"

"We tell them we're not sleeping together. We're profilers, I think we can handle a good poker face. I know at least _you_ can, Mr. 'I'm banned from casinos in Vegas, Laughlin, and Parumph'."

Spencer smirked. "You forgot Atlantic City."

"…And when did that happen?" he asked, looking down at him.

"Our last case there and the million dollar tournament." Spencer smiled slightly. "They didn't take too kindly to me pulling out of the tournament with $150,000."

"I guess not."

Later on, Spencer moved closer, resting his head on Derek's chest. Derek smiled, pulling the blankets over the two of them and squeezing Spencer's arm. He didn't care what baggage came with this starting again, he just knew the two of them couldn't go back to what they had been over the last five months.

_You're such a hard act for me to follow. Love me today, don't leave me tomorrow, yeah. But if I fall for you, I'll never recover. If I fall for you, I'll never be the same.  
_

The next morning, Derek woke up with Spencer in his arms again, and it was the first time in months that he woke up feeling comfortable and whole again. He kissed the top of Spencer's head, whispering to him.

"I'm going to make some coffee, do you want me to wake you up after I shower?"

Spencer shook his head, wrapping his arms around his middle. "No coffee."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "Who are you, and why did you replace Spencer Reid in the middle of the night?"

He mock laughed, moving closer and burying his head in Derek's shoulder. "I'm too comfortable."

"Well, that's great for you, but I need to go let my dog out before I need to clean up my carpets."

Spencer sighed dramatically, letting go of Derek and lying on his back. "Fine, but I'm not leaving this bed today."

"That's fine. Hotch _did_ promise us the weekend," Derek reasoned, slipping on a pair of shoes.

"…So I can stay?"

He smirked. "After _months_ of not having you, do you really think I'm going to let you get away? If so, you're not very bright for a genius."

Spencer rolled his eyes before letting them shut again, putting up his hand and waving it at Derek. "Go, tend to your dog."

* * *

Derek came back to the room a few minutes later, two mugs of coffee in hand. He set one on the nightstand beside Spencer before sitting up and leaning against the headboard, drinking his own. Spencer's head poked out from underneath the blanket and Derek laughed to himself.

"I see you still have the skill of sniffing out a cup of coffee like a bloodhound."

Spencer set his arms underneath himself, pushing himself up and reaching for the cup, sniffing it.

"Four sugars, already stirred in," Derek told him, taking another sip of his own.

Spencer leaned back, inhaling the scent of the coffee before taking a sip.

The two of them sat up in bed for about an hour before Spencer finally got out of bed, walking out to the kitchen and looking through Derek's cabinets. Derek followed him, leaning against the counter. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making breakfast. I don't know if you noticed, but I got quite the workout last night, and it built up an appetite."

Derek smiled. "Are you making breakfast for two?"

"That depends," Spencer said, turning around to face him.

"On?"

"Can we talk after I do so?"

Derek thought to himself. "…I think that's a fair deal." He sat down at the kitchen table. "Now please, don't burn my house down."

Spencer shook his head, taking ingredients out of the fridge. "You do know over the past five months, I've been on my own and had no choice _but_ to learn to cook for myself, right?"

"I do now. How'd you do it?"

Spencer cracked a few eggs. "I watched a lot of cooking shows, though the one thing I seem to excel at is omelets."

"I'll see about that."

After they'd eaten, and Derek had cracked a joke about not getting food poisoning, the two of them were sitting in the living room, Derek's arm wrapped around Spencer.

"Derek?"

He looked down at the smaller man. "What is it, Pretty Boy?"

Spencer smiled slightly before looking at his hands, fidgeting with them. "What do we do? I can't… I don't have it in me to walk away from this again."

Derek took a deep breath, sighing. He had to think for a few minutes before he finally gave Spencer a response. "This goes right back under the radar. Nothing at work, nothing on cases, and especially nothing outside of our apartments."

Spencer chewed on his cheek. "So… we're going to pick up where we were before, just without outings?"

"Exactly." He thought again. "We can spend nights at each other's apartments a few times a week and pick _this_ back up, because much like you, I can't give this up again without unraveling."

Spencer gave him a smile. "So, I have you back?"

He nodded, kissing the top of his head. "I'm not letting you get away this time."

* * *

They ended up spending their entire weekend in, Spencer calling it 'making up for lost time'. Most of it was spent either cuddling or talking, though they both thoroughly enjoyed when it involved getting physical with each other again. When they did, they studied every inch of each other's body, re-studying every last bit of the other. On Sunday night, Spencer's phone started ringing while he was cuddling with Derek.

"Are you going to get that?" he asked.

Spencer groaned, shaking his head. "They can call me back."

"You sure it's not important?"

"Mhm," he mumbled, moving closer to him. "It's probably nothing."

Derek reached over, despite Spencer swatting at his arm not to, and checked the caller ID. "You'd better take this."

Spencer raised an eyebrow, taking the phone and reading the screen. He sighed, answering.

"Hey, Garcia," he said, resting his head on Derek's chest.

"Hey yourself, Boy Wonder. I haven't heard from you in a few days, is everything okay?"

He smiled. "Everything's fine, thanks for your concern."

"No nightmares, no scary thoughts, no dark cloud hanging overhead?"

"No, no, and definitely not." He traced his finger over Derek's chest to entertain himself and Derek smirked, shaking his head.

"Really? What's the cure, if you don't mind me asking?"

He looked up at Derek before focusing on the call again. "I hope you don't mind, but I've actually found someone else to talk about the problems with, so I'm not always bothering you."

"Oh, sweetie, you weren't bothering me, not by a long shot, but you had me worried since I hadn't heard from you. Are you okay? Who is it?"

He sat up, clearing his throat. "I'm fine, and I'm sorry for worrying you. I've actually been talking to Derek," he quickly put his finger to his lips, "and considering his experience dealing with them in the past, I figured it would work, and it has."

"And you're okay with this after everything?"

"Yeah, it's fine. You know the two of us have been talking and bonding over the last few months, and it's not like it was, I promise. He's been a big help." He saw Derek ready to make a comment and elbowed him.

She sighed. "Just, please be careful, okay? I don't want my two favorite men to be hurt again. You are both very, very difficult to put back together, and as fun and bubbly as I may seem, I'm not sure _I_ could handle you two being upset."

"You have my word."

"So I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"I'll have the coffee ready."

She laughed softly. "And that's why you're my favorite multiple doctorate genius. Adios, my dove."

"…Bye."

As Spencer hung up, Derek dramatically rested a hand on his side. "What was that for?"

"You know." He set his phone down on the nightstand before resuming his position.

* * *

They had finally gotten comfortable again when Derek's phone started ringing. Spencer pulled the blankets over himself, shrugging. "That's probably Garcia, and you'd better take that."

Derek rolled his eyes, picking up his phone and answering. "How's it going, Baby Girl?"

"Perfectly fine, hot stuff. So you and junior g-man are on great terms now, I hear?"

He reached down, running his fingers through Spencer's hair. "I'd say we're on great terms, yes."

"And what does that mean?"

He paused to think about his response. "We talk, we help each other, and we keep each other company when we need it. It's like old times without actually being old times."

"So you're _okay_ with this?"

"It's not like I have a choice here, considering the circumstances."

"Well, unfortunately that's true. Can you just make me a promise?"

He smirked. "For the last time, Baby Girl, I'm not switching teams, no matter how many times you beg me."

She mock laughed. "Like I could even _begin_ to deal with your emotional baggage."

He feigned pain, gasping. "Then what?"

"Please just... be careful with him, okay? He's not like you, he doesn't compartmentalize as well as most of the team. He won't admit it, but he's the most fragile, and I really don't want him to hurt again."

He looked down at Spencer, smiling. "I promise."

"Thank you. Now, I'll let you go to actually get some sleep before we're back at the BAU bright and early tomorrow. Sweet dreams."

"You too. I'll see you tomorrow."

"After you're done running through my dreams?" She laughed to herself. "Bye, Derek."

"Bye, sweetness." He hung up, plugging his phone back in and lying down with Spencer.

"What was that about?"

"She was checking up on your facts and wanted my word that I'd take good care of you." He wrapped an arm around him. "Like I'd let anything happen again."

Spencer smiled appreciatively, moving in and resting his head on Derek's chest. "Wake me when the coffee's ready?"

"I think I can handle that."

He watched as Spencer easily fell asleep in his arms and couldn't help but feel proud of himself, finally being able to keep away the nightmares for him.

They quickly fell back into their morning routine, and neither of them commented on it, as it was just instinct for them. There were some mornings where Derek would drop Spencer off at the train station, as to not raise any suspicion. On the mornings they would drive in together, Spencer would give Derek a thank you, whether it was 'thanks for letting me use your shower, my hot water ran out' or 'thank you for picking me up, I couldn't remember where I left my pass for the train'. Nobody would ask questions about it, and for that, they were grateful. While they were at work, Spencer would offer to take some of Derek's case files when his pile would dwindle down to nothing. There were also times where Derek would drop a cup of coffee off at Spencer's desk when he saw he was struggling with a case file and needed a break. There was never an overly-long conversation, or anything to convince anyone that anything else was going on. For now, everything seemed to be working in their favor.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a month since they'd started their relationship back up, and nobody suspected anything from either of them. There were two nights a week where Spencer would stay with Derek, and two nights where Derek would stay with Spencer – this left three nights with them alone, but two of those weeks, those days had been spent on a case. On cases, they were able to stay up late, brainstorming ideas and coming up with possible pieces of the profile the team had previously missed. Since they were working together, the team was functioning better, and none of their team members minded.

One night, the two of them were cuddling in bed when Spencer straddled Derek's hips, running his hand up Derek's chest and looking at him, biting his lip.

"Can I help you?" Derek asked, glancing up at him.

Spencer pouted. "We didn't last night, and after tonight, I'm not going to be here for three days. If you can hold on that long, fine, but I'm pretty sure I can't."

Derek smirked, propping himself up on his elbows. "Well, if you just won't survive without me…"

Spencer leaned down, capturing Derek's lips with his and playing with the hem of Derek's shirt. He pulled back only to pull the shirt over Derek's head and discard it, tossing it into the corner of the bedroom.

When there was a knock on the door, Spencer pulled back, panting. "Are you expecting someone?"

Derek shook his head. "It's probably just my neighbor, looking for payment for the case last weekend when she watched Clooney. I'll leave her a check in the morning."

"…And you're sure she'll go away and not keep knocking, even though your car's up front?"

He nodded. "Positive, now," he put a finger to Spencer's lips, before kissing him again. Spencer smiled into it, before pulling back and kissing at Derek's neck.

"Watch the neck," Derek warned. "Someone's going to know something's up."

Spencer looked at him. "I can look, I just won't bite."

"If you can resist it, my little vampire."

He mock laughed before kissing Derek, running his hand up Derek's bare chest.

* * *

They heard the bedroom door open and shrugged it off, assuming it was Clooney running in to sleep on the floor beside the bed. What they didn't anticipate was having Garcia standing at the foot of Derek's bed, shielding her eyes and apologizing profusely.

"_Wow_. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so incredibly sorry. I just – you told me to drop off the toys I bought for Clooney, and I assumed when you didn't answer you were out for a run or something so I used the spare and – _Jesus_, I'm sorry."

Spencer exhaled, wrapping the sheet around himself. "It's okay, Garcia."

She moved her hand, seeing that it was, in fact, Spencer underneath him. "_Boy Wonder_? Derek, you didn't tell me that you two were, well, you know, again. You two are… can you two put some clothes on, because I'm sorry, Derek, but a girl can't help but look."

Derek sighed, reaching for his boxers and pulling them on. "Living room in two minutes, Baby Girl," he said, standing up and looking for his shirt.

"In the corner," Spencer mumbled as Derek tossed him his own boxers.

After the two of them were dressed, Spencer turned to him. "On a scale of 1-10, how much are we going to be yelled at?"

Derek took a deep breath, sighing. "Considering she's the one that continuously put the pieces back together? Easily a twelve."

Spencer groaned, getting off the bed. "Any chance I can slip out of here?"

"Not a chance. She's already spotted you, and if you just leave, it'll only make it worse."

"I was afraid you were going to say that." He pulled on one of Derek's sweatshirts and walked out to the living room, curling up in the armchair and watching Derek walk in, taking the seat beside her.

She looked at the two of them. "Does somebody want to tell me what the _hell_ I just walked in on?" she pointed a finger at Spencer. "And for the love of God, Spencer Reid, if you give me a scientific explanation involving the word 'coitus', I'm going to hit you."

Spencer raised his eyebrows, turning to Derek. "_Twelve?_"

"I was wrong, maybe a fifteen."

* * *

"Derek, when I said to take care of him, I meant be a friend, not have him underneath you in bed. Can of worms has been opened, little creepy crawlers are everywhere and," she looked between the two of them, "how long has this been happening again?"

Spencer sighed. "Just over a month." He knew lying to her would be pointless.

"And onto my next question, why?" She looked at Derek. "I can't believe you went against me, Derek. Why would you do this again, knowing both of your asses were on the line, and now _my_ ass is on the line for knowing about you two?"

Derek eyed Spencer before looking back at her. "It's a lot to explain."

"Enlighten me."

Spencer bit down on his lip. "Don't be mad at him, Garcia. It's as much my fault as it is his. He may compartmentalize better than I do, but that doesn't mean I'm off the hook."

She looked between the two of them. "Okay, one of you, tell me why this happened."

"I know you know what it feels like to lose somebody that means the world to you, Garcia," Spencer spoke up, his voice low. "It hurts and it leaves you empty and just wanting answers. I couldn't sleep at night, I couldn't eat, I couldn't read, I couldn't even pull out a statistic if my life depended on it. I had to call you nearly every night, crying because I was so frustrated, just to tire myself out enough to get to sleep, and even then, I'd have my nightmares. Being mad at Derek and walking around constantly upset wasn't the answer to this."

"…And setting yourself up for heartbreak again was? I love you both and would do anything for you, but I don't think this was the answer here."

"Why?" Derek asked. "We were doing just fine before tonight. We were hiding it again and we were both happy. Everybody on the team was pleased with our performances, and that's _because_ of this."

She sighed, looking over at Spencer. "Is he right?"

He nodded slightly. "I started talking to Derek and I became myself again. Being angry at him wasn't the answer to coping with this, and I needed him in my life, in one way or another. I hate to sound like a cliché, but I couldn't function without having Derek in my life. I needed _something_."

"And that something was _this_?"

Derek sighed. "Not exactly."

"Oh?"

He swallowed, clearing his throat. "We tried friendship, and for a while, it worked for us, but… that wasn't it. We realized that we couldn't _just_ be friends if our lives depended on it. After being with somebody for three years, you can't just forget it."

"I can't lose him again, Garcia," Spencer said softly. "I don't care what comes for me or what people threaten me with. I couldn't live without him, and the thought of doing it again just puts me in a place I don't want to be. Please just, don't tell anybody. I'll do anything, just… I can't hurt again."

She looked over and saw how upset Spencer was just talking about losing Derek again. She sighed, visibly softening, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I love you both to pieces, and trust me, I don't want either of you hurting anymore, because I like these new versions of you. You're yourselves again and believe me, I can't put you two back together again if this ends sourly. Are you _sure_ you want to keep doing this?"

"Absolutely," Derek said immediately.

"Spencer?"

He reached up, wiping his eyes. "I'm positive."

Garcia rubbed her temples before exhaling, looking between the two of them. "Your secret's safe with me, _but_, please, don't get caught this time."

"We're not," Derek assured her. "It's just sleepovers and indoor dates. There aren't any public outings yet." He turned to Spencer. "Have you checked the handbook yet?"

He shook his head. "It's in my bag and I was going to read it tonight, but-" he immediately reddened, shaking his head again, "I'll do it later."

He smiled slightly. "He's going to read the handbook and find out exactly what it says about relationships, as well as the rest of it, to do whatever he does with that brain of his."

She chewed on her cheek. "And this doesn't leave the apartment _at all_?"

"Derek usually drops me off at the train station in the morning, and I take the train home or here. There are very few days where I let Derek drive me, just in case anybody wants to have their suspicions."

"Last question… are you two happy now?"

Derek nodded. "_This_ is Derek Morgan. That guy from a few months ago isn't."

She glanced at Spencer. "Boy Wonder?"

He quickly nodded in agreement. "I never want to experience what I was a few months ago again."

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "You have my silence."

Derek reached over, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a hug. "Thank you _so_ much, Baby Girl."

"Just for the love of God, please don't get caught again. _Please_. And be super careful, because I may be my own miracle worker, but I'm not sure I can do this all over again."

"I promise." He kissed the top of her head, rubbing her back. "You're the best."

"I know," she said with a smirk. Spencer walked over, wrapping his arms around the two of them and Garcia laughed to herself. "Somebody call the presses, 187's _actually_ initiating a hug."

"Thank you, Garcia," he mumbled against her shoulder.

She ran a hand through his hair. "Anytime, my dove."

After a few more warnings to be careful, Garcia got off the couch. "You two enjoy what's left of your night, and I'll see the two of you in the morning – we're going to the coffee shop and getting breakfast, just the three of us, my treat."

"…Are you sure that's a good idea?" Spencer asked. "I mean-"

"It's three co-workers grabbing breakfast sandwiches and overpriced coffee. Believe me, sweetie, nobody's going to think anything of it, especially considering one of us," she eyed him, "is going to be spewing off statistics every few minutes."

"…I think I can handle that."

"I thought so."

Derek laughed softly, giving Garcia another hug. "See you tomorrow, sweetness."

She patted his back. "Word of advice? Don't give anyone else a spare key."

"Trust me, he's not allowed," Spencer spoke up.

She smirked, putting her bag over her shoulder and walking out, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Derek walked over, locking the door and exhaling, turning to Spencer. "So… safe to say the mood is killed."

Spencer nodded. "Indeed."

"I say… a night of cuddling?"

"I think I can handle that." He got up, walking to the bedroom and lying down. When Derek joined him a few minutes later after letting Clooney outside, he pulled up the blankets and moved closer to him, resting his head on his chest and sighing.

"Are you okay down there?"

He nodded slightly. "Do you think Garcia knowing is going to be a problem?"

"Definitely not," he said quickly, "you'd have to put her through extreme torture to get her to tell a secret, and even then, it's not likely."

This seemed to ease Spencer's nerves and he wrapped an arm around Derek. "I'm going to read that handbook, cover to cover, maybe even multiple times. I'll find a way to make this permanent, Derek, I promise."

"I believe you." He ran his fingers through Spencer's hair before kissing his forehead. "I love you, Pretty Boy."

Spencer smirked. "I love you too."

* * *

Garcia stayed true to her word, keeping their secret once again, which made everything much easier on them. They kept up their system of spending nights at each other's apartments, then taking a few days away from each other, as to not raise any suspicions. On the nights when Spencer wasn't in Derek's company, he'd call Derek right before bed to prevent the nightmares. The two of them were currently in Spencer's apartment, Derek watching TV while Spencer sat with several printouts on the table and a notebook in his lap.

"Dare I ask what you're doing?" Derek asked, looking over at him during a commercial break.

"Preparing my argument," he responded, highlighting a page and quickly taking notes.

"…I wasn't aware you were signed up for a freshman debate class?"

Spencer mock laughed, flipping through the pages and landing on one. "It's not, and you're not scoring any points."

Derek shifted slightly. "Then would you like to enlighten me on what you're preparing an argument for, Spencer?"

"Gladly." He handed Derek his notebook, capping his pen.

He took it from him, reading the title. "'BAU Violations According to the Ethics Handbook'?"

He tucked his legs underneath himself. "If anything happens and somebody tries to separate us again, I need to be ready. According to our handbook, there are _plenty_ of things that our team has done to violate the rules, and nothing's been done against any of them. If something happens again, I'm not going to roll over and die. I'm going to fight it."

Derek smiled, motioning toward the notebook. "You're serious?"

He nodded. "This took entirely too much to get back, and I'm not letting anything separate us again, even if I have to resort to desperate measures."

He looked at him, eyebrow raised. "Desperate measures?"

"Just read the notebook, and get yourself ready for when one of us lets this slip again."

"I thought you said that wasn't going to happen?"

He shrugged. "We thought the same thing last time, and we had to spend three miserable months separated. I don't know about you, but I can't do that again."

"Noted." He leaned over, turning off the TV, before sitting back and flipping through the notebook. "…Twelve pages, front and back?"

"What can I say? We don't abide to rules very well."

"Apparently not, especially considering your microscopic handwriting."

Spencer shook his head. "Just read it, and once you're done, you'll be rewarded."

Derek read through, taking in all the content. When he was done, he tossed the notebook into Spencer's lap, eyebrows raised. "Wow, we're a bunch of rebels, aren't we?"

"That we are. So, I think it's safe to say if _anyone_ tries _anything_ with us again, we're more than covered, and I won't have to resort to previously mentioned desperate measures."

"Are you going to tell me what these are?"

Spencer shook his head. "Because they're not going to be necessary. Now, I do believe this is our last night together this week, and I also believe it is going to suck to be away from each other." He reached over, stacking his papers and putting them into his satchel, along with his notebook and pens.

Derek walked over, sitting beside him in the armchair and lifting his chin, kissing him softly. "Thank you."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

"For going through that handbook and several others, finding any possible way for this to work. Much like you, I can't let this go again, and considering your work, I don't think I'll ever have to."

Spencer smiled. "You're _very_ welcome." He kissed his cheek. "You call Garcia to confirm our plans for tomorrow, and I'll see you in the bedroom in ten?"

"I think I can handle that."

He watched as Spencer went to the bedroom and then picked up his phone, dialing Garcia's number.

"Hello, one-half of Chocolate Wonder."

"…Chocolate Wonder? Really, that's your personal best?"

"Considering it was between 'Chocolate Wonder' and 'Boy Thunder', yes."

He laughed softly, shaking his head. "In that case, I accept the title."

"I thought you would. What are you two up to tonight?"

He looked over at the satchel and raised his eyebrows. "Spencer's building up ammunition, in case there's ever another issue with this. Do you think if he gives you something, you can type it up and make it look professional? I'd say he should do it, but, we all know his abilities with technology."

"Indeed – if I had a dollar for every time I've had to fix his computer because he did _something_ to it, I'd be a rich lady."

He smirked. "I can imagine. Are the three of us still on for breakfast in the morning? Spencer's treat this time."

"How can a girl refuse free coffee? I'll meet you two there. So tonight are we living in sin?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm at his apartment tonight, then we're staying at our own places for three days. It's an odd system, but oddly enough, it seems to be working."

"Good, I'm glad. I'll let you go get some sweet lovin', and I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning."

"Can't wait, bye, Baby Girl."

He hung up, walking to the bedroom and plugging his phone in.

Spencer turned to him. "Everything all set?"

He nodded. "She's going to meet us there, and by the way, it's your treat."

He looked at him, confused. "Excuse me?"

"Your treat, it's only fair."

He rolled his eyes.

"We also have an official Garcia petname."

"…I'm afraid to ask."

Derek smirked. "I'm Chocolate Thunder, you're Boy Wonder, and together? We're Chocolate Wonder."

Spencer quickly shook his head. "That's um, that's really something."

"I thought so too." He laid down, wrapping his arms around Spencer. "She also gave us permission to get some sweet loving in tonight."

"So you need permission? Should I call your mother, have her sign a consent form?" Spencer asked.

Derek scoffed. "You are getting far too mouthy, I should start keeping you from Garcia."

* * *

It had been eight months before the two of them were seen in public together. Spencer wanted to do some grocery shopping, and Derek needed to pick up a few things for his apartment, considering they'd be there the next two nights. Spencer was pushing the carriage while browsing the aisle.

"Why are you even bothering?" Derek asked, tossing in a few things. "You're not even going to be there for three days."

Spencer rolled his eyes. "Because, _Derek_, when I walk into my apartment after a long day, I don't want to open the cabinets and have to decide between sucking on sugar packets and a can of soup with the expiration date not visible." He put in a few cans of vegetables and pushed his cart into the next aisle. "You do realize you can get your own cart and avoid the awkward game of 'what's mine and what's yours', right?"

He shrugged slightly. "It's just easier this way."

"Yeah, for you." He stretched slightly, putting in a few boxes of food. "For me, it's a pain."

He laughed, shaking his head. "You know you love it." He put his hands beside Spencer's, pushing the cart.

Spencer reached back, backhanding him. "It's like shopping with a child, though I could just sit the child in the cart with a coloring book and they'd be quiet."

"What, do you want to get me a coloring book?"

"I'm considering it."

Spencer went to turn into the freezer aisle when he saw something and backed up directly into Derek, nearly knocking him over.

"What was that for?" Derek asked, looking down at him.

Spencer blinked a few times, swallowing and pointing to the aisle. "Hotch," he mouthed, biting down on his lip. "We can't be seen, Derek," he whispered. "If he sees this, we could be in a _lot_ of trouble and have to go through this all over again. I can't do it again."

Derek rubbed his arm before looking down the aisle. "…I'm going to grab a cart and stay behind him without him seeing me. You get what you need in this aisle, and I'll text you if he comes back. Deal?" Spencer nodded slightly and Derek kissed his forehead, running his hand through his hair. "Everything's going to be fine."

He nodded again, exhaling as he watched Derek walk away. He looked down the aisle and, seeing Hotch walk away, he walked down the aisle, collecting what he needed. His phone buzzed in his pocket a few minutes later and he checked his messages.

'_Hotch just checked out, be right there_'.

He sighed, relieved, grabbing a few more things.

* * *

Back at Spencer's apartment, Derek was unpacking the groceries while Spencer was in his bedroom, packing his go-bag.

"Where do you stick your pasta, Pretty Boy?" Derek called out.

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "After over _three_ years, you honestly can't tell me where I put the pasta in my cabinets?"

"Excuse me, I was a little more occupied in our relationship and less worried about where to stick the Italian food products."

Spencer smiled slightly, shaking his head. "Second cabinet over from the fridge, second shelf, with the pasta sauces."

"Do you have all your cabinets organized by type, or is that one just special?" he asked, putting it away.

He rolled his eyes. "I do, and apparently, I'm going to have to teach you." He zipped up his bag, walking out to the living room and setting it on the couch.

After helping Derek put away the groceries, and pointing out where exactly everything belonged, Derek drove them to his place. When they got there, Spencer put his things in the drawers in Derek's dresser, before walking out to the living room and sitting down on the couch.

"You okay over there? You were quiet the whole drive over." Derek observed.

Spencer swallowed, nodding. "That was a really close call today, Derek," he said softly. "If we'd been caught by Hotch-"

"We weren't," Derek reminded him.

He swallowed. "But we could've been, and this… it'd be lost all over again. I wouldn't be able to handle that. It hurt enough the first time, and I couldn't do it a second. Maybe you could've, but I couldn't."

Derek shook his head. "I couldn't either. But we have to keep walking on eggshells, Spencer. There's nothing else we can do." He saw Spencer's facial expression changed and raised an eyebrow. "What has the wheels turning over there?"

Spencer swallowed, reaching in his satchel and pulling out the notes he had Garcia type up. He skimmed them before looking up at Derek.

"What is it, kid?"

Spencer took a deep breath. "The BAU can't do anything to a relationship if a marriage license has been filed."

"Excuse me?"

He sucked in his bottom lip, biting it. "I have been with you for almost a combined four years, Derek. I love you, and I can't imagine not having you in my life. I remember those three and a half months and," he shook his head, clearing his throat, "I can't imagine ever having to do that again."

"And what you're getting to is…?"

Spencer swallowed before exhaling. "Derek Morgan, will you marry me?"

Derek's eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

Spencer licked his lips and cleared his throat again. "If we file a marriage certificate and do a ceremony at the courthouse: it would only cost $45 and take an afternoon."

"Back up to the whole 'will you marry me' thing. Am I supposed to take that as a proposal?"

Spencer quickly blushed, nodding slightly. "You know I'm not one for elaborating on basic statements, and I like to get straight to the point, unless of course it's sharing facts and statistics." He eyed Derek. "If we were to get married, and the marriage license was already filed, nothing can be done to separate us."

"…And what about the sudden addition of jewelry?" Derek said, motioning toward his ring finger.

"I um, I wouldn't need a ring to be married, though if you'd like to wear one, I can't stop you. And when somebody asks?" He shrugged. "Say it's absolutely none of their business."

Derek wrung his hands. "And when would you be prepared to do this?"

"…As soon as possible, so in case we are ever spotted, nobody can argue that we need to stop this. Are you prepared for it?"

Derek smirked. "Prepared for what?"

"Derek, I just told you."

He shrugged. "I'm forgetful."

Spencer took a deep breath, tucking his legs underneath himself. "Derek Morgan, will you marry me?"

He dramatically put a finger to his chin, seemingly deep in thought.

Spencer grabbed the pillow behind him, whacking him with it. "Derek!"

Derek laughed, setting the pillow on the couch. "Yes."

He walked over, wrapping his arms around Derek's neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

He pulled back. "When should we do it?"

Spencer bit down on his lip. "That depends, can you get out of work early on Friday afternoon?"

"…Wouldn't you have to do the same?"

Spencer put up his hand, using air quotes. "'Doctor's appointment'."

Derek gasped. "And do tell, what would you have done if I just said no?"

Spencer chewed on his cheek. "Cried, made you feel incredibly stupid, and probably kept sex from you… forever."

"Then I'm all of a sudden _very_ happy that I said yes."

"I thought you would be."

* * *

The next day, Spencer had Derek print out the documents from the city clerk's office, giving him all of the information he needed.

"We need to wait three business days after the marriage license to actually _be_ married," Spencer explained, reading through the pages. "So we can grab the document on our lunch break on Monday, fill it out, and be married by Friday night."

"So it's allowed in Virginia?" Derek asked.

Spencer shook his head. "D.C. Luckily, both of our residences are in the D.C. area, so even though Virginia doesn't allow same sex marriage, D.C. does."

"Can that be a problem, you know, with work?"

Spencer shrugged. "I can't see how it can. What are they going to do, force us to divorce?"

"I'd like to see them try. Having seen you pissed off? It's pretty scary."

He mock laughed, looking through the forms. "We'll need $45 cash to get the certificate, unfortunately since we're not registered as domestic partners, we have $35 in there, because the certificate only costs $10."

"Damn you, BAU," Derek said, waving his fist, which caused Spencer to chuckle.

"Indeed. We just need to save the receipt from the license, tell them we'll get it Friday, giving them three full business days to process it. On Friday, we pick up the license, bring it with us, have it signed by whoever's officiating, and then shortly after, you may kiss the groom."

"Isn't it 'kiss the bride'?"

Spencer looked up from his pages. "I don't know about you, but _I'm_ not wearing a dress."

Derek grabbed one of the pages, reading it. "One thing you overlooked."

"What's that?" Spencer asked, adjusting his glasses and finishing the last page.

Derek held up the page. "We need a witness."

"What are you talking about?"

"We're required to have somebody, aged 18 or over, attend the wedding as a witness."

Spencer grabbed the page from him, quickly reading it and groaning. "Damn."

Derek smirked. "Don't go 'damn'ing yet, I have an idea."

"…I'm listening?"

"Spencer, who's the one person that knows about this?"

"…Your mother, two if you count my mother and she's having a good day."

Derek shook his head. "Somebody else – somebody close to us, even has a petname for us."

Spencer's head immediately shot up. "You want Garcia to know about this?"

He shrugged. "She's going to find out eventually. I'd rather it be from us than one of her routine computer checks."

"Routine computer chec- how often does she dig into our files?"

"More often than we'd like, probably. I'll make the call if you'll agree to it."

Spencer took a deep breath, sighing and nodding.

He took out his phone, calling Garcia and putting her on speaker.

"What can I do for you, half of the best couple on earth?"

He smiled. "Well, sweetness, the so called 'best couple on earth' would like to know if you want to do them a favor?"

"…_Another_ one? Hi, already keeping your secret, which is sort of the biggest favor in the world."

"And don't think we don't appreciate that," Spencer said.

"Are you two looking to expand and bring a little Chocolate Wonder into the world? Because I would so offer up surrogacy for the world's most adorable child."

Spencer's eyes widened, turning to Derek and repeatedly shaking his head.

"…Considering the two of us can't be seen in public holding hands, I really don't think having a kid together is going to do us any favors, though we appreciate the offer.."

She scoffed. "Spoilsport. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the little Chocolate Wonder in the baby carriage."

Derek laughed softly. "Funny you should mention that."

"Oh?"

He shifted in his seat. "Are you busy Friday afternoon?"

"Yeah, I am. You know, this crazy thing called work. Why?"

"This pertains to the favor – could you get it off? Whether it's the day or just the afternoon doesn't matter."

"I have vacation time and I could manage it. Why?"

Spencer bit down on his lip. "Would you be willing to be a witness to a marriage ceremony?" he asked, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Sure, who's getting marri-" she gasped, hitting her hand on her table, "_no_ way! Seriously? Like, seriously?!"

"Believe it or not, your little Boy Wonder popped the question an hour ago. Not very romantically, but he did it, nonetheless."

She squealed excitedly. "Yes, I am so incredibly into this, one _thousand_ percent, I will be there, I promise. Give me details this week?"

"We will. We owe you one, Baby Girl."

"I don't know, being a witness to the world's most perfect marriage might just be enough. My lips are still eternally sealed, I'll be available if you need any help, and I shall meet you at the courthouse Friday afternoon."

"Thanks, Garcia," Spencer spoke up.

"Oh you are _so_ welcome, but you're going to have to share how you popped the question."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

Derek hung up the phone, turning to Spencer.

"So I'll be seeing you Friday afternoon at the, for lack of a better word, altar?"

He gave him a quick nod, smiling. "There's going to be no way they can argue it after this."

"Then in that case? I think I'm going to like being tied down, though I don't know what I'm going to tell all of those women fawning after me all the time."

Spencer swatted at his chest with his hand. "You'll tell them you're married, they're out of luck, and your husband is one hell of a man in bed."


	4. Chapter 4

_I don't know where to start, I'm just a little lost. I wanna feel like we never gonna ever stop. I don't know what to do, I'm right in front of you, asking you to stay, you should stay, stay with me tonight, yeah._

Monday while they were at work, it was business as usual. Neither of them crossed paths until Derek walked up to Spencer's desk, knocking on it.

"Yes, Morgan?" Spencer asked, eyes still on his case file. "How many of your case files do I need to take to make your life easier?"

Derek ignored the laugh coming from Emily's desk. "I was actually wondering if you worked through your lunch again."

Spencer glanced over at the clock and saw that it was 2:00. "As a matter of fact, I did. Why?"

"I'm heading out to grab something right now if you want to join me."

He chewed on his cheek, considering it, before tossing the file on his desk. "Anything to get away from this enucleator case."

"You got yourself an enucleator?" Derek asked.

"Mhm, and he's leaving _one_ by the body, leading me to believe the other is being-"

"For the love of God, Reid, if you say 'eaten', I've lost my appetite for the week and I'm going to hit you," Emily spoke up.

He put up his hands, grabbing his bag from underneath his desk and putting it over his shoulder. "Shall we?"

Derek nodded, taking his keys out of his pocket and walking out. "Did you really have an enucleator case?" he asked, pressing the button for the elevator.

Spencer shook his head. "No, but that's payback."

"For?"

"Her and JJ very openly discussing their latest female doctor's visits while I was trying to eat lunch the other day."

"Very weird and twisted revenge."

He shrugged. "It worked, didn't it?"

* * *

The two of them stepped into the courthouse, Spencer immediately knowing where to go. He walked up to the desk, ringing the bell and clearing his throat.

"Excuse me?" he called out.

A woman walked up to him. "Can I help you?"

He nodded, reaching in his bag and taking out a paper, setting it down. "I would like to file this. Please."

She scanned the document before she looked up at the two of them. "I'll need to see two forms of ID."

Spencer eyed Derek. "Can I see your license?"

Derek reached in his pocket, taking out his wallet and pulling it out, handing it to him. Spencer took out their passports and his own ID, setting them all on the counter.

She looked over them, making copies, before handing them back to him. "It's going to be $35 for application, and $10 for the marriage license."

Spencer took out his wallet, counting out the money and setting it on the counter. She took it and set it in the register before taking the receipt, handing it to Spencer. "Your license will be ready in three full business days, at which point you can pick it up. Hold onto the receipt, bring it back, and we'll provide it. If you're looking to get married the same day, bring the license with you, have it signed by your officiator, and you'll be given a marriage certificate. Anything else I can help you two with?"

Derek smiled, wrapping his arm around Spencer's waist. "No thank you, miss. Have a great day." When she nodded, Derek turned the two of them around, squeezing Spencer's waist and rubbing his back. "Now, did we really just do that?"

Spencer nodded. "We did, in fact, just apply for a license and the ability to be married on Friday."

He smirked, kissing the top of Spencer's head. "No more sneaking around? No leaving each other? Staying together every night? I think that's something I could get used to."

"I thought so." Spencer tilted his head, kissing Derek softly before pulling back, smiling. "Don't make any plans for Friday, because _we_ have an appointment."

"That we do."

* * *

When they made it back to the BAU, Garcia pulled Spencer into her office.

"Yes?" he asked, sitting down in her chair.

"Did you do it?"

He smiled, nodding. "It's filed and will be ready for pick-up on Friday. There's going to be nothing that can keep us separated after Friday afternoon."

She squealed excitedly, clapping her hands together. "Perfect! As you may like to know, I have the afternoon off, so I will meet the two of you at the courthouse. _Please_ tell me you're going to look snazzy for the occasion, because me? I have _the_ perfect outfit planned. It's not every day you see two of your favorite people tie the knot, and I'm making the most of it, despite the small size."

"Don't worry, I've already banned Derek from showing up in jeans. However informal it is, it still needs to be _somewhat_ traditional to me."

"Are there going to be rings?" she asked, leaning against her desk.

He shook his head. "Rings would only raise suspicions. I understand with marriage, nothing will be able to be done to us, but," he shrugged, "neither of us are really the jewelry type right now anyway."

"Right now? So maybe in the future, I can take you two out shopping for some perfect 'his and his' products, including rings?"

He laughed softly. "I don't know, maybe."

She patted his arm. "Back to work with you. Any cases pending, I shall see you Friday afternoon."

He got up, putting his bag over his shoulder and walking toward the door. "One thing?"

"What is it, sugarplum?"

He smiled, turning around to face her. "What is it you have to do on Friday that has you away from work?"

"Taking Sergio to get neutered for Emily."

He raised an eyebrow. "One, he's already neutered, and two, why would Emily go along with that?"

"One, Hotch doesn't know that, and two, you're not the only one people tell their secrets to. Now, back to work."

Without another word, he walked out, going back to the bullpen and setting his bag underneath his desk.

* * *

Both of them were extremely relieved when no cases immediately needed the team's attention for the rest of the week. Derek had called in sick that day, saying that he had a stomach bug, but he'd be fine to come in on Monday. In reality, he was running errands, so the two of them would be able to spend the entire weekend in as a newlywed couple. Spencer smiled at the thought several times during the day. When it was time for him to leave, he shot up from his desk, closing his case file and putting it at the top of his stack.

"Somebody's excited to go to the optometrist," Emily noted, looking up at him. "What, are you really _that_ stoked on a new pair of glasses?"

"Considering mine have a habit of always getting broken? Yes." He pulled on his jacket, putting his bag over his shoulder. "Have fun with the rest of your day."

"With you taking off on me, Garcia doing _something_, and Derek out sick? My only hope for conversation is JJ emerging from her office to talk, and considering the fact that her piles have seemingly tripled in size? I don't see it happening."

"…If you want, I can reschedule and keep you company?"

"You're squinting reading a case file that's right in front of your face. Believe me, you need to see the doctor more than I need a conversation to pass the time."

He shrugged. "Well, sorry. Goodbye."

She gave him a wave before he walked out.

* * *

He drove back to his own apartment and saw his clothes laid out for him, a note from Garcia folded on top of them.

_To my Boy Wonder – see you and the god of Chocolate Thunder soon at the courthouse. If you're late, he's mine, and don't think I'm kidding._

He smirked, shaking his head and unbuttoning his shirt before throwing it into the laundry, walking toward the bathroom and closing the door, running the shower. Once he was cleaned up, he walked to his room and got dressed, carefully tying his shoes and getting up, checking his reflection. He tried with the mess he called hair, but was having no luck. Surely since Derek said he loved him no matter what, he wouldn't mind the mess. Besides, Garcia would probably be waiting for him with a hairbrush, ready to fix it for him.

When he got off his stop on the subway, he walked up the stairs, gripping his bag with one hand. He saw the courthouse and smiled, quickly walking inside. There he saw Derek, standing with his hands in his pockets, in the middle of a conversation with Garcia, who was wearing a bright purple dress.

"Aren't you looking fluorescent?" Spencer said, stepping toward them.

She smirked. "Only the best for my favorite men." She looked up at his head and groaned. "You are so lucky I had stepbrothers who were boy scouts and know to always be prepared." She took a brush out of her purse, immediately brushing his hair and pushing it aside with her fingers.

Spencer turned to look at Derek. "How's the stomach bug?"

Derek smirked. "More than okay." He leaned over, kissing the top of Spencer's head.

"Did you pick up the license?"

Derek held it up. "One marriage license for a Doctor Spencer Reid and a Mr. Derek Morgan."

Spencer bit down on his lip, trying to hold back a smile, but failing miserably.

Garcia looked between the two, placing a hand on each of their backs. "Then I guess we have a wedding to get to."

* * *

The ceremony, if it could be called that, was extremely short. Neither of them minded, though Garcia made them swear if this was ever out in the open and officially official, she'd be allowed to plan a huge ceremony for the two of them.

"Do you, Derek, take this man, Spencer, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Derek nodded.

The officiator turned to Derek. "Then repeat after me. I, Derek, take you, Spencer, to be my wedded husband , to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part."

Derek smirked. "I, Derek, take you, Spencer, to be my wedded husband , to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part."

He then turned to Spencer. "Do you, Spencer, take this man, Derek, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" When Spencer nodded, he looked at him again. "Repeat after me. I, Spencer, you, Derek, to be my wedded husband , to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part."

Spencer smiled, squeezing Derek's hand. "I, Spencer, take you, Derek, to be my wedded husband , to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part."

Garcia smirked, watching the two of them as they were declared married. Derek wrapped his arm around Spencer's waist before pulling him closer, kissing him softly on the lips. Spencer wrapped his arms around Derek's neck, pulling him in. When they finally parted, Spencer looked up at Derek, grinning.

"Let's see them keep us apart now, Pretty Boy," Derek whispered, kissing the top of his head.

* * *

The two of them spent the entire weekend in, not wanting to spend a single second apart. They were definitely in the 'honeymoon period' but neither of them minded one bit. Another promise they'd had to make with Garcia was, when they were able to take their AL, they'd go on an _actual_ honeymoon and not just spend a whole weekend in each other's company, which they could do anytime.

"You know," Spencer whispered, resting his head on Derek's chest, "Garcia wanted to buy us matching wedding bands?"

Derek smirked, running his hand up Spencer's back. "So she told me, and she insisted on it, even though that would _completely_ give it away."

Spencer looked up at him. "I know we're married so they can't do anything, but," he bit his lip, "I'm not quite ready to go public with this yet. Just until we're at a point where we're ready to tell the team and face whatever wrath the director wants to throw at us."

"I think that sounds perfect." He kissed the top of Spencer's head and ran his fingers through his hair. "Now, when are you taking my name?"

Spencer rolled his eyes. "How does the tenth of 'never going to happen' sound?"

Derek put a hand to his chest, feigning pain. "Well _excuse_ me."

He laughed softly, wrapping his arms around Derek. "I'm not leaving this bed until the alarm goes off tomorrow, and you can't make me."

"That sounds like a plan." He kissed his forehead. "Now, about this whole living situation… I don't think it's _right_ for a married couple to be separated."

"We could always put a system in place," Spencer suggested, shrugging.

"Oh?"

"Well, I could spend four days here, then you spend four days over at my place, or something along those lines. I think with the whole 'being married' thing, we don't need to take breaks from each other anymore."

"Agreed."

He smiled. "And, eventually, maybe we can stop the whole apartment-hopping sport and just move in together… here."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "Wouldn't that be great? Not spending any time away from each other, morning, afternoon, and night. It'll be just the three of us."

"…Three?"

"Yeah. Me, you, and the furry, gassy little one," he said, motioning toward Clooney at the foot of the bed.

Spencer laughed softly. "That works for me."

* * *

Though married, the two of them stayed under the radar, with no PDA and very few outings together in public. On cases, the two of them would stay separated except for the occasional conversation and brainstorming session. If it was a long case, they'd be the last at the police station, trying to figure out something the rest of the team hadn't been able to. Most of the time, it had been a success, and the team would be able to return home sooner than they'd thought. It had been two months since they'd gotten married, and it was so far, so good.

One afternoon, Spencer was sitting at his desk, glaring at the stack of case files in front of him.

"I know that look," Emily mumbled, "I've been giving mine the same death glare."

He smiled slightly. "Lucky us." He picked one from the top, opening it and setting it down on his desk.

His phone started ringing and he raised an eyebrow, picking it up and resting the receiver against his shoulder, pressing his ear against it as he looked at his case file. "Spencer Reid," he said, picking up his pen and taking notes.

"Reid, I'd like to see you in my office," Hotch's voice came from the other line.

"Absolutely. When would you like to see me?"

"As soon as possible."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'll be right there." He hung up before standing up, stretching slightly.

"What did you do this time?" Emily asked.

He shook his head, stumped. "I really don't know. I haven't corrected any LEOs while we were on a case, I haven't taken a case personally and related to an unsub again, and I haven't spurted facts that somehow insulted somebody. I have _no_ idea."

She shrugged. "Good luck."

"…Thanks." He straightened up before walking the stairs up to Hotch's office, knocking.

"Come in."

He stepped inside and saw Derek already seated in front of his desk. He suddenly had a strong case of déjà vu and a heavy feeling in his gut. Trying to keep his composure, he sat down in the other chair, hoping history wasn't about to repeat itself.


	5. Chapter 5

Hotch got up, closing the door, before taking his seat at the desk again. He looked at the two of them before clasping his hands together, resting them on the desk.

"Is there anything you two wish to tell me?" he asked.

Spencer shook his head. "No, there's nothing I feel I need to share with my unit chief at this moment in time."

Hotch eyed Derek. "Morgan?"

Derek exhaled. "I think it'd be best if you just cut to the chase, Hotch. Why did you call this meeting?"

Hotch seemed taken aback by Derek's comment, but reached for a paper on his desk. "Eleven months ago, I told the two of you to dissolve your relationship, because it wasn't allowed by the bureau, however long you were together. You both agreed, you split up, and that should've been that."

They both stayed silent, not wanting to give Hotch a reaction.

"I was surprised to see this pop up in your records." He held up a paper, which they immediately recognized as a copy of their marriage certificate. "Now, would either of you care to share what this is?"

"According to the title, I'd say it's a marriage certificate," Spencer said.

Both Derek and Hotch were surprised at the comment, but Hotch immediately shook his head. "When I said that the two of you needed to separate, I meant _stay_ separated. Do you realize what you two did?"

Spencer nodded. "I didn't let a technicality get in the way of somebody I really cared about, something I feel is admirable, considering how much of a success rate relationships have in the BAU."

Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose. "I told you that two agents on the same team couldn't be in a relationship together. I didn't make up the rules and I don't want to be _that_ boss, but you two can't just find your own ways to bend the rules. It doesn't work that way."

Spencer held up a finger. "Can I just be excused for a moment? I'll be right back."

When Hotch looked confused, but gave him a nod, he walked out to the bullpen, grabbing his bag and walking back, closing the door and settling in his chair. He reached in his bag, taking out a folder and handing it to Hotch.

"What's this?"

"Something I think you'll find interesting. Not to be rude, Hotch, but there are _many_ things, and I mean _many_, this team has done to violate the handbook and code of ethics for the FBI, and if _we_ need to be punished, I feel these points should be brought up as well."

"Reid, we can't just play a game of 'point the finger' here. This isn't about other people's infractions, it's about yours, and-"

Spencer shook his head. "Page two. Last year, I gave you a birthday gift, specifically a pocketwatch, which you accepted and are still using to this day. According to that handbook? On occasions where gifts are given, i.e. birthdays and Christmas, an employee _can_ give a superior a gift, but it can't exceed a monetary value of $10, and therefore, the superior can't accept it. Considering that was a sterling silver pocket watch that retails for well over $100, you shouldn't have accepted it, and by accepting it, you broke the rules."

"Reid-"

"Page six. An employee may not use the official time of another agent for anything but personal business. When Rossi first started? He took Garcia's attention off of the case at hand to have her look into the Galen case. Though admirable, it was still against the rules. There are fifteen pages to that document, Hotch. Nobody in the BAU is a saint by any stretch of the imagination. If everyone else can break the rules for silly little things like birthday gifts and personal cases, why _can't_ I have a relationship with a fellow agent? _What_ exactly is that going to do to the team dynamic, because, honestly? It hasn't done anything so far."

Derek looked at Spencer, speechless. He never expected him to talk in the meeting, let alone _that_ much, and spilling so much information. He knew Spencer was compiling the information, but never really expected him to use it, especially in front of Hotch.

"Morgan, could you give Reid and I a moment?" he asked, turning to him.

He nodded, standing up. "I'll be waiting at Reid's desk if you need me to come back." He squeezed Spencer's shoulder before walking out, closing the door and sitting down at Spencer's desk.

"What's going on?" Emily asked, looking over at him.

"Nothing good," he said, running a hand over his scalp and looking up at Hotch's office, hoping to see in the window.

Garcia ran in a minute later, leaning against Spencer's desk. "What's going on?"

Derek clicked his tongue. "Hotch found out, and Reid threw the book at him."

She gasped. "He actually did it?"

He nodded and Emily looked at the two, confused. "Anyone want to clue me in?"

* * *

Back in Hotch's office, he was looking at Spencer. "Why did you do this, Reid?"

"Because you don't let anything get in the way of love, Hotch. Not the job, not rules and limitations, nothing. It's so rare to find and be happy with that I wasn't going to let something ruin it."

"Did you two even _stay_ separated?"

Spencer nodded. "For three and a half miserable months, in fact. We didn't talk, we didn't interact, and the team dynamic suffered. As you probably noticed, it picked back up when the two of us started talking again, just talking. It didn't get romantic until months after that, but when it did? It was just… it was _right_, Hotch. We were both happy again and it was absolutely horrible when we weren't. We were horrible people to each other and others on the team, because we were so aggravated with the situation. Now that we're together again? It's better." He looked up and made eye contact. "I read the rules, I know the handbook front and back. It forbids agents from being in relationships together, but there isn't a single syllable to say that agents shouldn't be married, or that anything negative can happen to them if they're caught."

Hotch sighed, wringing his hands. "So you intentionally got married so nothing would happen to the two of you?"

He quickly shook his head. "No, I got married because I was in love, and I couldn't imagine another day away from the person that meant _that_ much to me."

He exhaled. "Reid, I can't have an agent on the team who's going to bend the rules to work his way. The rules aren't there for you to manipulate when they're not convenient for you."

Spencer clicked his tongue, raising his eyebrows. "Then I quit."


	6. Chapter 6

By now, the rest of the team was gathered at Spencer's desk, as it had the best view into Hotch's office. Garcia was seated on the desk beside JJ, while Derek had the seat up as high as he could to get a good look. Meanwhile, Rossi was leaned against it and Emily was sitting on her own desk, leaning over.

"What do you think is going on in there?" JJ asked, crossing her arms.

Emily shrugged, exhaling. "I don't know, but it looks like Reid is trying to use logic to get out of this, considering the fact he hasn't stopped talking in two minutes."

"Do you think Strauss is coming down on the team?" Garcia asked, looking around. "Because I am completely not okay with losing any of you."

Rossi shook his head. "I don't think she would, kitten. She knows better by now."

Derek exhaled, running a hand over his scalp. "What's taking so long?"

Garcia reached over, rubbing his arm. "I don't know, sweetie, but I promise, he is more than capable of taking care of himself."

"Morgan, you were called in first, any idea?" Emily asked.

"He wanted to talk to us about the consult he sent the two of us on a few weeks back, then he asked me to leave while he talked to Reid."

The rest of the profilers eyed him, wondering if he was being honest, before seeming satisfied with this answer.

* * *

Derek looked back in and his heart sank. "…Why is he handing over his gun and badge?"

Garcia's grip tightened on his arm. "I don't know… anyone?"

Rossi cleared his throat. "It's usually what happens when someone resigns, retires, or is asked to leave."

"_Leaving_? Why in hell would he be leaving?" JJ snapped. "We'd be completely lost without Spence on the team. Hotch _has_ to make him reconsider."

"Not if Hotch is the one letting him go," Emily suggested.

JJ pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing. "We can _not_ be down an agent right now. We especially can't be down a Spencer Reid. Any of us are replaceable but _him_? We can't get another him."

At this point, Hotch walked over to the window, taking a look out into the bullpen before closing the blinds.

"What's going on?"

"Put my money on nothing good."

* * *

The door to the office opened a few minutes later and Spencer stepped out. Everyone was baffled when his gun and badge were no longer on his person, and he was walking toward his desk. They all separated, trying to make it seem as if nothing had happened. He grabbed a box from under his desk, packing up his belongings and throwing them inside.

"…Are you going to tell us what that was about?" Emily asked, eyebrow raised.

Derek rested his hands on Spencer's desk. "What happened in there?"

He clicked his tongue, putting the top on the box. "I wasn't going to sit down and take some of the bureau's so called 'rules' that work in nobody's favor, I argued with him, and decided that if I can't be the person I want to be in the bureau, than I don't want to be an employee of it at all."

JJ's eyes widened. "Beg pardon?"

"It took me far too long to realize this, and I apologize to each and every one of you for this spur of the moment decision, but I can no longer just let things happen that aren't fair to agents."

"You've lost me," Rossi said, looking at Emily and JJ, who were just as confused as he was, but Derek seemed to understand.

"Pretty Boy, _what_ are you doing?"

"We can do something," Garcia argued. "We can figure this out, something can happen, this can't be it."

He turned to face Derek. "I'm making the right decision. I have other job offers, and many of them would accept me the second I picked up the phone and gave them a call."

"Spence," JJ started, trying to find the right words to say. "What is going on?"

He swallowed, blinking back some tears of frustration before looking around at his confused team. "I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you all from the beginning, but with the fraternization rules, I couldn't." He pulled the certificate out of the box, holding it out to JJ.

She took it, reading it and cupping a hand over her mouth. "No!"

Emily leaned over, getting a look at it, then looking between Spencer and Derek. "You're _married_?"

Rossi clapped a hand on Derek's shoulder, before patting Spencer's back. "I hope you two are happy. Reid, I'm sure we'll be seeing you around."

Spencer smiled, nodding and hugging the older agent.

"But-" Emily started.

Rossi put up a hand. "Leave it be. This job has taken enough from all of us that I think they deserve this."

Garcia sighed, wrapping her arms around Spencer and pulling him into a hug, rubbing his back. "I'm going to miss you around here, Boy Wonder. Are we still on for lunch every Monday?"

"You bet. Thank you for everything."

Spencer then turned to JJ. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about this, but I expect you to understand that you don't let love get away from you when you have it-"

She put up her hand, silencing him, before hugging him. "I'm happy that you're finally happy, but it is so going to _suck_ to not have you around anymore."

He smirked. "I promise, weekly visits to see Henry, and babysitting once a month."

"I'll hold you to it." She ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek before Emily moved in, hitting his arm.

"Ow, what was that for?!"

"For thinking you couldn't trust us. Now, come here."

She held her arms out and Spencer moved in, hugging her.

"Are you happy?" she asked, whispering in his ear.

He nodded against her shoulder.

"Then I guess that's what matters." She kissed the top of his head. "Take care of yourself."

"I will."

After explaining everything to the team, including their behavior over the last year and why it had changed so dramatically, Spencer said his goodbyes before picking up his box, grabbing the car keys from Derek's hand and walking toward the elevator. The doors closed and everyone turned to Derek.

"What? I didn't know he was going to do this. He went in there ready to argue and keep his job."

Garcia eyed the closed doors. "Do you think Hotch is going to replace him?"

"How can he?" JJ asked. "This is going to go one of two ways. Either Spence is going to take another one of the offers, or he's going to make Hotch sweat until he meets with the director."

* * *

That night at Derek's apartment, they sat at the kitchen table.

"So, tell me, kid," Derek started. "What happened after I left?"

Spencer smiled. "Hotch told me I couldn't bend the rules to fit the way I wanted them to, so I told him I quit, plain and simple. I wasn't going to play by the FBI's book if it meant being completely unhappy with my life, and if he insisted on finding a way for the relationship not to work because of rules and regulations, I wasn't going to stick around for it."

"What did he say?"

"When he stopped being completely speechless at my sudden decision? He tried to reason with me that a relationship wasn't worth losing your job over. I told him that his personal experience with relationships and the BAU wasn't what happened to everybody. He tried bringing up Rossi, and I was quick to bring up that the rules that kept us apart in the first place were only made _because_ of him, not to mention he is definitely not somebody to model relationships after, considering his success rate."

"You did not."

He smirked. "I did." He raised his eyebrows. "And _that_, once again, left him speechless. I was just full of surprises today, I guess."

"So, what happened?"

"He kept trying to reason with me that this wasn't worth losing my job over, but I said that it was, and after a few minutes of arguing, I gave him my badge and gun, letting him know that I'd be back when the bureau wanted to accept me for who I was."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "That took guts."

"I did what I had to do for my own happiness." He looked up at Derek. "Besides, I know what it takes to be married to a BAU agent: I know the long hours, I know the cases, and I know how to handle it. This was the best possible thing that could've happened."

"So, you quit your job? Were you going to tell me this?"

"It was actually my intention walking in, if Hotch was going to argue with me. I didn't tell you because I knew you were going to talk me out of it."

"I wouldn't-" he saw the look Spencer was giving him and sighed. "You're right, I would."

"Exactly."

* * *

They sat up in bed later on, Spencer's head resting against Derek's shoulder.

"So this is officially out in the open? No secrets, no hiding, and _actually_ being able to be a couple?"

Spencer nodded. "The bureau has no authority over our relationship anymore, considering the circumstances."

"And when are you going to get your new job?"

He shrugged. "As soon as I call one of the places that was looking and say that I'm no longer with the FBI. It'll be no time whatsoever."

"You thought this whole thing through, didn't you?"

Spencer nodded, wrapping his arms around Derek's middle. "That I did. Now, I believe somebody here has to call his mother, and newsflash? It's not me."

Derek rolled his eyes, reaching over him for his phone and dialing his mother's number, putting the phone on speaker.

"Hello?"

He smiled. "Hey, momma. You have me and Spencer here."

"…You and _who_? Derek, _what_ did I tell you about you two spending time together? I told you this would be dangerous and I really don't want either of you hurt again."

Spencer bit down on his lip. "I wouldn't worry about that anymore, Fran."

"Oh?"

Spencer smiled. "That's because, as of two months ago? I'm your son-in-law, and before you ask, nothing can be done about it."

"…Derek, is this true?"

He smiled. "That it is. Your son is a married man."

"…And I wasn't invited why?"

Spencer eyed Derek. "Yes, Derek. She wasn't invited why?"

"Because my husband-to-be decided that it needed to be a quickie wedding, though don't worry, Garcia's going to be planning a big one to make up for that, and I'm sure you're going to be first on the invite list."

Spencer hit Derek with the back of his hand. "Thanks for throwing me under the bus."

Derek kissed the top of his head. "Sorry."

"Well, I guess congratulations are in order. Congratulations, both of you, and I'm glad you two are _finally_ happy."

"Thanks, mom. We'll be in Chicago soon, AL is coming up."

"I'll see you soon then. Stay safe."

"We will, Fran."

Once Derek and his mother said their goodbyes, Spencer hung up his phone, plugging it back in.

"What was that for?"

"Derek Morgan, I do believe we're still in the honeymoon phase. I think you can put two and two together and figure it out."

* * *

The two of them had a huge weight off of their shoulders: no more hiding, no more being terrified, and no more bouncing between apartments. Not long after Spencer quit the BAU, he finally moved in with Derek, getting rid of his own apartment. Garcia had, in fact, forced them into a real marriage ceremony, by her standards, and they definitely appreciated it, considering they were able to say how much they loved each other in front of the people that mattered to them. Spencer started a new career at the CIA, where his assets were definitely welcomed. With the hours, he was able to spend every night with Derek that he wasn't away on a case, and when he was gone, they were calling each other and talking whenever they could, and when Derek would get home, they'd act like newlyweds all over again. Another thing they'd started was a bi-weekly dinner with the team, so Spencer could see the team, and more importantly, the team could see Spencer. The one thing that got them through everything that happened to them from that point on was the fact that every single night would be spent together, never having to worry about being apart again.


End file.
